6.2.1

Here I am, after 6 months being in love, 2 months of unconscious break up and 1 month after breakup. I would not say I am completely back, but have recovered enough to look forward. This post is to put a full stop to everything happened in last 9 months and an outset of a new beginning. 

I still feel a bit hurt, just on the left side of the chest, and still can not watch corny Bollywood love stories, but I am doing more than fine. Once again my mind has taken command over the heart, and my heart is beating for the sole purpose to pump blood only, nothing else. I am purging all the memories I have of her and only souvenirs I am left with is a diary, a key ring and a smiley clip. 

I still feel she was a nice person, but too stubborn. I am thankful to her for fine memories and will always think of her as a good friend. 

Anyways, a lot is left to achieve in this life and I going to try my luck in some of these opportunities. I have to be strong and focused and beware of diversions. For sure, it is going to be hell of a ride.

Friend

I had a bird. I wanted to know how much it liked me, so I opened the cage and the bird flew away.

Some friendships are broken for good.

Voyage to the end of Universe

Chapter 1: The significant ones

28Feb, 2069 5:00 PM

He turned off the Television, sunk deep in his chair fitting perfectly in his permanent ass prints on the padding and muttered, “Tomorrow will be a historic day”. The uncomfortable pairing of words tomorrow and historic in the same sentence amused him.

Tomorrow was special in every sense, as it was 75th birthday of music icon Justin Bieber, who still was shaking at this age with his Pop anthem “Hey Baby” (digital remaster of original song “Baby” which was named incorrectly due to music company screw up); but it wasn’t historic for him for this reason as any day he preferred prostate check over Bieber’s songs. He wondered what happened to the real music and why nobody killed like of Miley Cyrus and Bieber to save the world from this torture.

Now days he wonders as lot, just like all other insignificant ones. He is a character in very insignificant part of the story and is only chosen because he is old enough to brood over the past (which he likes a lot) to help us to build premise of the story and not too old to be senile and totally useless like historians in solving quadratic equations. He is like those insignificant details that grow very tightly around significant one; just like insignificantly important “running naked” details to Archimedes, after the significantly important discovery of “buoyancy”. But do not get confused, this is a story of significant ones.

His mind wandered in the past when things were not so complicated. He liked old time when Pi was still 3.14, “g” meant gravitational acceleration, he believed Tom hanks was an astronaut on Apollo 13 mission and standing on one leg on a weighing machine does halve one’s weight. Now everything was so precise and politically correct that it felt medicated to him. They ruined the cult series The Big Bang Theory when the new producers decided to infuse love angle between Sheldon and Penny. He never cared to watch reality shows like of “I have seen 10th dimension” or “I have counted infinity twice”.

Though, over the years he did like few things. He liked when a Chinese guy invented a treadmill for cows so that they can give skimmed milk. He liked when Apple was banned from upgrading every month and made to support flash. He liked when Windows conceded Vista was its second biggest mistake, only next to their overambitious thought of putting pretty pictures in the backdrop of Bing will bring any popularity.  He liked the sick joke, on the death of Prince Charles, that Prince Charles was buried with a chair as he did not have it when he was alive. He made lot of nuisance when a mms caught him saying, “That old lady won’t die”.

He switched on TV again. A big spaceship was on the screen. For last few days they have been continuously telecasting reports on tomorrow’s launch of “Laika”; spaceship was named Laika after the first dog to go in space as Neil Armstrong still struggled to qualify for the first man. As camera zoomed and panned the body of spaceship, he could read clearly USA painted in red colour. It was a massive ship with three propellants. As camera panned at the bottom of ship, he could not hide his amusement as he read “Made in China” written at the bottom.
Tomorrow will be historic because for the first time in human history, four humans will be sent on self sustainable ship to explore the universe and unveil its secret. This is the story of those four significant ones.

Faith

Faith is the Kajal mark put by your mother behind your ear to protect you from all evil eyes, or faith is the belief in baby’s smile in your catching ability when you throw him in the air and faith is the Nimbu-Mirchi mala hanging over your dashboard in your new car to keep it running in spite of all mechanical engineering.

For me faith was everything at one stage, it was my life, it was my struggle and my reason to live. It is hard to imagine how I felt when my doctor told me I had cancer. Even though I knew he might say that, but I wished he wouldn’t. Exactly at that moment my whole life shattered in front of me. I stood there, trembling in tears, shaking my head in disbelief and asking myself why me. I remember weeping on mother’s shoulder for hours. Doctor told me to be strong but I did not know how to be strong when there was no strength left in me. I did not know how to think forward, for me there was no past and there was no future, present was all I had. It was a feeling I had never felt before, a feeling of total detachment and realization how precious every moment is. Before leaving for TMH (Tata Memorial Hospital), I spent night just watching stars and crying alone on hostel roof. The day I left IIT for TMH, I hugged each one of my friends as if I was never going to see them again. I was never so close to them before.

I saw mother crying many times behind my back. She used to tell me everything is going to be fine, but I knew it was the only false hope which kept us going. Sometimes we both would just sit and cry and after a while she will wipe my tears and hug me so tightly that I knew there is nothing she would not do to help me. I could not sleep unless my head was in her lap and she was holding my hand. Sometimes few drops of tears would trickle down her cheek and fall on mine and I would not respond as if I did not notice that she was crying.

I found hope and strength at most unusual place, a world where life was lived in moments and a few moments they had left. From outside a cancer ward might seem a place of tiered bodies, but if watched closely it is a place with alive souls. TMH cancer ward was like a big family, a family with shared history and suffering; a relation stronger than anything. They taught me life is about living it. Real happiness in life comes from sharing moments with your loved ones. You have to live every moment to its full potential. Every moment enjoyed is a success. We used to celebrate each other’s moments and share every bodies sorrow. In the evening we all will pray together for well being of everybody and thank God for that day which we were able to share with other. We will plan for future events as if everything is fine, to keep the hope alive for a tomorrow. To us “Tomorrow” mattered and we knew its value. For us tomorrow was hope, tomorrow was life, and tomorrow was everything we had.

My stay at TMH ward gave me strength to look forward to tomorrow. I decided try not to worry about what is going to happen but to do best I can, with my remaining life. I started reading about cures and success rate. I started writing my diary again. I called everyone whom I had been rude and apologized for my behavior. I am not a hard believer in God. But I had lots of spare time which I needed to fill to keep me occupied. I started going to a close by temple. May be there was no purpose to it, or may be it was my faith that I had done nothing wrong and so God will not do wrong with me.

For me faith is hope, ray of light in complete darkness and strength to fight unbeatable. When you have nothing to hold on and whole world is sinking around you, you need a reason to believe that everything is going to be fine. Without that ray of hope you will only sink.

I do not know whether there is God or not, but for me there was God. He kept my faith alive and after 3 months of intense observation TMH told me I was found negative for cancer. Doctor hugged me and said that he can not imagine what I have been through and he was sorry for that. I almost cried in front of doctor.

I still remember when I got back to IIT, first person I saw was Abhishek and I hugged him for at least 5 minutes and none of us wanted to let it go. For me, it was rebirth. I still have mental scars from the incident and sometimes they haunt me. After the incident, I was highly depressed for 6 months. Doctors said it was natural to go under depression after such incidents. But it made the person who I am now; a sensitive, thinking man.

Joke

Read somewhere.

A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball bat."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again...."

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 3 #

Chapter 4: What Future Holds

So far I have been trying to delay “money transfer” as long as I can, but further stalling may result in end of communication as he might guess my intentions. Apart from that, his lectures on urgency have started to creep me out.  You guys are lucky that you only get to read good stuff; I am the one who has to bear “fundas of Islam” and his repetitive reminder of money transfer like a broken CD, stuck at a note. This is perfect time to end this conversation on high note.

After giving it much thought, I have decided to end it following way.

# Even if he sends me any mail before coming Wednesday (September 8, 2012), I have decided not to reply. I am expecting him to send me an e-mail on Tuesday again reminding that I have to send rest of 400$ USD on Wednesday. #

Wednesday

from: Anand Mishra 
to: Immigration Malaysia
date: Wed, August 28, 2012
subject: VISA Processing fee transferred

Dear Sir,
Thanks for your help and patience. I always knew, Muslim brothers will always look after me. I can not say how much you have touched my heart. I never believed that anyone will come forward to this extent to offer help, to a complete stranger, and this has strengthened my faith in humanity. This year I will go to Hajj and free two white pigeons to show my revived faith in humanity.

As you had suggested in your earlier mails, I have transferred 400$ USD to the following account through Western union money transfer.
Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Immigration Department of Malaysia
Level 1-7 (Pondium) Block 2G4 Precint
Malaysia

MTCN for the transfer is 911-420- 9211. Usually money transfer is instantaneous with Western Union, but there might be delay in money transfer as there is 2.5 hours time difference between Malaysia and India. Kindly collect money after 2.5 hours as you would be on the same time as ours and finalize Visa process as quickly as possible.

Sir, my mother has already bought a chicken which we will eat the day I receive confirmation of my Visa.

Regards
Anand Mishra

$ Did you notice MTCN no? Call Police - A fraud – Running away with money. $

# He will laugh at my foolishness for a while and then will go for a stroll to collect money. He will argue with Western Union guy for a while only to realize that there is no money transferred to his name. Frustrated, he will write me again that money has not been transferred and I need to check at my end. I will not reply for another 2 days to frustrate him more. On Friday I will send him a final mail. #

Friday

from: Anand Mishra 
to: Immigration Malaysia, CALTEX Malaysia
date: Fri, August 30, 2010
subject: VISA Processing fee transferred

Hi Bros,
You called me brother once, so I will give you a free suggestion. If you want to save your ass then go underground for a while as Malaysian police is coming after you. I have been in regular contact with Malaysian cyber crime branch and sharing your mails with them. They were very intrigued with the offer and one of the officers actually wants to join your firm.

You guys are dumb bastards. I hinted you in the previous mail. My MTCN no was “Police coming-you frauds-run”. Anyways I had fun chatting with you guys. Do you remember the 5 pillars? You both can share the pillars and stick up your a**. Wait I believe you both are the same person, it is even better, at least now you won’t have fight who gets 3.

Hope you both rotten in Malaysian jail.

Anand Mishra

PS:
I never thought someone will have courage to run through my marathon second post. But, thanks to Divesh and Sumit who showed interest and gave me courage to write the final chapter. I hope you all really enjoyed it. Do not forget to write your honest comments.

I am planning to shift from lighter side to serious posts. I still have to write about my trip to India. Further plans are to ponder about faith and religion. A few posts on hope and then come back to satire.

15 August

तारीख : १५ August
नाम: समीर
उम्र: २१ साल
पेशा: Student, Undergraduate, Engineering
कल ही रात समीर ने एक धाँसू सा ब्लॉग लिखा था, "India at age 64: Reflection and Future ahead". Posting के एक घंटे के अंदर २० comments और ३० Interesting reactions देखकर वो काफी खुश हुआ. Third year से उसने Blog लिखना शुरू किया था और पिछले एक साल में उसकी काफी बड़ी following हो गयी थी. Final year का ज्यादा समय तो बाहर की Universities में apping करने में और Foreign की companies में apply करने में चला जाता है, पर फिर भी समीर blog के लिए तो समय निकल ही लेता है. पोस्ट में उसने politicians , naxals , media , Pakistan , Kalmadi सबकी ऐसी की तैसी कर डाली थी. पर readers को तो उसके post का second half बहुत भाया था जिसमे उसने जताया था की कैसे हम सब की जिम्मेदारी बनती है India के विकास में. Paying tax, voting for right candidate, community work, active participation in politics जैसे कर्तव्य सभी के इमानदारी से निभाने से ही India उन्नती कर सकेगा. खैर हमें उसकी post से क्या लेना देना.
आज वह रोज की तरह १० बजे जागेगा और  फिर चारो तरफ बजते देशभक्ति संगीत उसे याद दिलाएंगे की आज या तो २६ January है या फिर १५ August है. PC sharing से ४-५ देशभक्ति गाने download करके winamp पर enqueue कर देगा. करीब १२ बजे उसे एक बड़ी MNC से Job offer आने वाला है. ३ साल के contract पर उसे US में posting मिली है. समीर हमेशा US जाना चाहता था. आज शाम दोस्तों को जमकर party देगा और शायद उसकी अगली post US से होगी.

नाम: शर्मा जी 
उम्र: ४२ साल
पेशा: Government employee
पिछले १७ साल से शर्मा जी सरकार की सेवा में हैं पर उन्हें किसी चीज से सबसे ज्यादा खुन्नस है तो वो सरकार ही है. बढती महँगाई, ढलती उम्र और कुँवारी बेटी के बोझ को बस एक ही समय पूरी तरह भूल पाते हैं शर्मा जी, शाम की मित्र मंडली में. Politics का विषय छिड़ा नहीं कि शर्मा जी बोल पड़ते हैं, "साली, सारी सरकार चोर है. सारे नेता अपना pocket गर्म किये पड़े हैं, किसी को हमारी और देखने कि फुर्सत ही नहीं. कामचोर साले." यह अलग बात है कि शर्मा जी कभी vote डालने नहीं जाते, ऐसे भी उनके अकेले के vote से क्या फर्क पड़ेगा. 
जब भी कोई छुट्टी Sunday को पड़ती है, शर्मा जी का mood बिगड़ जाता है. शर्मा जी ने चाय पीते हुए TV on किया. शर्मा जी कभी भी budget session और स्वतंत्रता दिवस की झाँकी देखना नहीं भूलते. Prime Minister के भाषण शुरू होते ही उन्होंने TV switch off कर दिया, "चोर साले".

नाम: छोटू
उम्र: १७ साल
पेशा: चाय वाला
अगर आपने छोटू की स्पेशल चाय नहीं पीयी तो समझो आपने चाय नहीं पीयी कभी. Politics के अखाड़े से Bollywood की रंगीनियों तक, सब पर मंत्रणा होती है उसकी दुकान पर. अपने शर्मा जी छोटू की general चाय के regular customer हैं. छोटू ने कितनी बार चिकोटी लेते हुए शर्मा जी से कहा कि साहेब आज तो स्पेशल चाय पी लो, आज स्मार्ट लग रहे हो. शर्मा जी खीजते हुए कहते हैं, " इसी चाय को स्पेशल चाय कहकर ऊँचे दाम पर बेचता है, चोर कहींका." 
आज छोटू बहुत खुश है. चूल्हे के बगल में एक रूपये का तिरंगा उसने खोस रखा है. सवेरे से रेडिओ full volume पर लोकल FM से प्रसारित देशभक्ति गाना बजा रहा है, और छोटू पूरे मान से लता का साथ दे रहा है. उसकी निगाहें लगातार सामने से गुजरती Public schools की प्रभात फेरी पर जमी हैं. उसे school dress में बच्चे बहुत अछे लगते हैं. जब कोई teacher कतार तोड़ने वाले बच्चे की कान मरोरड़ता है तो छोटू बरबस मुस्कुरा पड़ता है. कारण उसे नहीं पता, पर आज वो खुश है.

"छोटू आज स्पेशल चाय लाना", शर्मा जी पहली बार प्रसन्नचित मुद्रा में थे.
"क्या बात है साहेब, आज बड़े खुश हो."
 "बेटे समीर की job US में लगी है. लगता है सरकारी engineering college में भी पढाई अच्छी ही होती है." आज उन्हें सरकार से कोई रोष नहीं था.
"आप तो स्पेशल चाय पीयो वो भी general चाय के दाम में."

आज सभी खुश हैं. हम, आप, समीर, शर्मा जी और छोटू. इस देश ने सभी को कुछ ना कुछ दिया है. क्या हम कभी इसका कर्ज उतर पाएँगे?