CWG: A Story to be Told

“The 2010 Commonwealth Games are going to be the best commonwealth game ever.” tweeted Shashi Tharoor.  Two minutes later he tweeted again, “Going to take a nap.” One of his follower @LalitModi tweeted back, “No body gives a F what do you do now.  So if you want to sleep just sleep, do not tweet about every f***ing crap.”

Well it seems nowadays nobody really cares about his tweets anymore. There was a time when parliament session used to start with Tharoor’s tweet. 

With 10 days remaining to premiere pilot episode of CWG soap opera, it has already been hit by generating so much noise around the world. Every passing minutes brings new twist and turn, more dirt and thriller to great saga of 2010 Commonwealth game which might give headache to writers of Balaji Productions. What makes a good Indian soap opera? “Dirt, more dirt and a lot of dirt”, said one of the leading TRP analysts, “and Kalmadi has been given 48 hours to clean all of it.” When asked will CWG commence, his answer was, “Oh Yes! Hero always wins no matter how low his odds are.”

To add CWG woes, now elite Bollywood section; Shilpa Shetty, Arjun Rampal, Mahesh Bhatt, Aftab Shivdasani and Fardeen Khan has slammed CWG fiasco and called it blot on India’s reputation. 

CWG Games Village filthy, uninhabitable: Hooper

Leading 2010 Commonwealth Games sponsor Indian Railways has assured athletes that there won’t be any cleanliness issue with their rooms and toilets. As a contingency step, a train will run every morning from village to Agra station where athletes can get fresh on Railway tracks in traditional Indian ways with symbol of love Taj Mahal in the backdrop.

Answering one of the questions at press conference, Sheela Dikshit said, “I really do not understand why people are making such a fuss? Who really watches CWG. Don’t you get it? They are so boring that games are telecasted without advertisement. Only families of the athletes watch it, even who keep swapping between games and their favorite sitcoms."

Bridge and ceiling collapses

While government agencies blamed early monsoon for bridge collapse (government report says bridge was made to sustain one heavy rainfall which was supposed to happen in late October), internal investigation suggests bridge wasn’t designed to carry any weight in the first place. Engineer who designed the bridge and rest of the village buildings forgot to think that somebody will use it. It is a typical nerd syndrome, suggested report.

CBI reports suggests that bridge collapse is not all bad news as it has generated a scare among terrorist outfits who wanted to infiltrate village during CWG. Terrorist organizations are finding it hard to find volunteers. Allegedly, even suicide bombers refused to come forward saying that, at least in their case they know when they will trigger the button. Report warned that terrorists may launch airborne attack armed with garden blowers.

“If you ask me personally what I think, I still think it is going to be the best game ever. I can see it in Kalmadi’s eyes and his eyes never lies.” commented Sheela Dikshit.

If you did not get any of the above jokes, you will certainly get this one:  Delhi has world-class CWG facilities: Kalmadi

And we say they are Racist

Recent attack on Indians in Australia certainly baffled the whole India and matter was blown so out of proportion that I was puffing answering calls about my well being. Media daily conducting interviews and writing articles about Australia being racist and busy collecting proof for it, seemed like madness India media is famous for. What happened in Sydney and Melbourne can not be justified by saying anything, it was a criminal act, whether was racial in nature or not is a debatable issue. Some of them might have racial content in it, but all of them, certainly not. Why every attack on Indians has to be racial in nature; it could simply be a case of wrong timing and wrong place. Neither a mugger waiting in dark has any intention to mug somebody with racial intent nor a group of drunk youth who just want to bash somebody because they are high. Indians might have been easy target because of their weak physique and humble nature; so would be any hooligan’s preferable choice. I will discuss the issue in later posts but first let us talk about our own backyard.

Why to bother about racial discrimination in India when we have variety of discrimination to pick up from. It hurts me when somebody says me that you can not work in Mumbai because you are Bihari. It hurts me when my mother asks me the caste of my friend, so that she can use separate cutlery kept for my dalit friends. It hurts most when I see old poor men told to sit on the floor in a general compartment (railway train) even when there is enough space for him on the birth. With everybody judging everybody it feels like living under a scanner and worst part is you can see hatred for yourself in their eye and you can do nothing about it. Rich in India treat poor as trash, higher caste despise lower caste, Assamese hate Hindi speaking, Biharis are not allowed to work in Maharashtra, every dark child has nick name Kallu, English speaking population snobs non English speaking; with lot more to list, who cares about racial discrimination. I do not have to give any example to you to visualize any of these situations, otherwise you have been blind enough to realize. Discriminate of any kind should be intolerable. We claim that attacks on Indians in Australia are racial in nature, but what about murder and rape of foreign tourists in India. I believe most of us will say they are not racial in nature; because we are brown and only whites are racial. What if these cases are no different then what happened in Melbourne and Sydney.

Issue of racism in Australia is not new. Ugly text messages, comments and postures relating to Aboriginals, Muslims, Jews, Indians and refugees are little common then other countries, so Australia is racist. But one has to understand that Australia is a relatively new country and started as penal colony. Its culture has never been so polite and sledging has always been integral part of Australian sports. With their huge physique they look daunting and solving matter with brutal force is in their nature. It is still in the process of building its reputation as multicultural society. Rules against racism are very strict but it will take time to change the mindset of whole country. By opening the door of immigration it is trying to build an image of multicultural society. Just like any other country Australia has some problem but I am happy that here people do not judge me for my caste, economic condition or my education status. I do not have to worry that people are judging me or at least they do not show it.

Cleared BARC

Today I saw the result and luckily, I have cleared the interview stage too.

This summer # Launceston to Kolkata

Guess, what I was doing when I was not surfing? I had lots of expectations from my last trip to India. It was an eventful summer.

Early morning my journey started from Launceston. Plan was to fly to Melbourne and then to India via Singapore. I always feel comfortable as long as I can feel solid ground below my feet, or in other words, I am a little afraid of flying. Even when I am up in the air, I feel more comfortable when plane is flying over ground than when it flies over water bodies. I know it does not make any difference at that height, but still I can not help it.

There are few things I like about airports. You get to see people from different country, tourists squeezed between heavy backpacks, rave of emotions at arrival & departure and off course free internet to pass time. Few things will always elude my comprehension though. I never understood what pleasure do people get in pushing 7 Kg trolley, for carrying their 0.8 kg laptop? Why people rush to toilet immediately after pilot switches off seat belt sign? Why even sophisticated people would grin to air hostess to get another sachet of cheap peanuts? But hey, who am I to judge?

Usually I love to listen to my iPod to pass time, but this time I had to study Thermodynamics for BARC examination. After 11 long hours of study, flight finally reached Kolkata. It was almost midnight and I was feeling tired. At immigration, officer asked me that why I have not written Quarter no. in my address. I felt a strong urge to ask him that “Is he going to send me Christmas card?” But, instead I quietly wrote my Quarter no. Mother, Neelu Didi and Jeeja Ji were waiting at arrival to receive me. After that, whole night we kept talking about Australia and India.

Susheel, Neelu didi’s son is live wire in the family. Mama (uncle) do this, mama do that, mama come and play with me or in nutshell I had a year exercise in three days. Once, Neelu didi asked him to check whether I was awake or slept. He came to me, sprinkled cold water on my face to wake me up and then said back to his mother that mama is awake now. My mother told him not to disturb me in revising the notes. He said to her that he only wants to study with me and after that you can guess what would have happened. None of us studied.

After BARC examination, we (I, mother, Neelu didi, Jija Ji and Susheel) went to Dkchineshwar Kali temple on Ganga shore and for a drive around town (Victoria memorial, Science city etc.). I am very thankful to Neelu Didi’s family for great hospitality and lovely tour of the city.

One good thing about returning to India after a gap is you can instantly realize things are changing rapidly in India. Two changes which stand out of the rest are visual development in Bihar and increased fashion awareness. One thing which really struck me was sunglasses; it is becoming new fashion among youngsters. Now we are one step away from becoming perfect Gandhi’s monkey (sunglasses for eyes and iPod for ears).  With big burger from McDonald in our mouth, we will be just perfect. Shopping Malls and supermarket are becoming new trend in urban society. Mall is a good place to hang out for love birds and see things which one could have bought if they had that kind of money. I always feel like outsider when I am in a mall. When I see elderly women walking in t-shirts, feeling uncomfortable, and just trying to keep up with the new trend or people digging their way through pile of clothes for finding cheap ones, makes me think are we trying too hard to be acceptable in modern society or society has lost its tenacity to accept people for who they are? I will give you an example. I still use my Nokia 1100 mobile. So many have commented that I should upgrade and it does not suit me. As long as it does the job, I am not going to throw it away just because someone thinks it is outdated. Mobile started to become popular almost 6 years ago and since then so many models have become outdated. In the beginning it was necessity but now it is more of status symbol of how modern you are.

Kolkata is among four largest cities in India and has an international airport but city did not turn out as I had expected. City was congested, dirty and unmaintained just like its international airport. Condition of famous “City Tram” was nothing like in the stories I had heard from my mother about her visit to city in her childhood. Staying with Neelu didi confirmed my fear, why I do not want to work in big cities. They hardly interacted with their neighbors. Neelu didi used to take Shusheel to City Park every Sunday so that he can play freely. For rest he the week he has no place to be himself. He is like a dolphin in a bath tub. I want to live in a place where in the evening I can put couple of chairs in front lawn and see kids playing on the street while talking to my neighbors.

May be I am outdated and unable keep up with the modern changing society OR may be I want to hang on things which makes me happy and defines me.

Update

I am having fantastic time in India. This vacation has been eventful; BARC examination, two day tour of Kolkata, a week trip to IIT Kanpur and brothers marriage. I danced all night (most of it was just unorganized jumping) and ate 20 mangoes (in a go) as breakfast in brother’s marriage. Next day my stomach was dysfunctional like  any Chinese electrical equipment after a month use. I have lots of stories to share, but sometime later.
Just for information: I have successfully qualified written examination of BARC and interview is scheduled on 6th of July. I hope with everybody’s grace, it will also go fine. See you guys later. Thanks to everyone for good wishes.

Hail the Champion

Here is another Anand for you.

 Current World Chess Champion

Prior to the World Chess Championship 2010, Anand, who had booked on the flight Frankfurt-Sofia on April 16, was stranded due to the cancellation of all flights following the volcano ash cloud from Eyjafjallajökull. Anand asked for a three day postponement, which the Bulgarian organisers refused on April 19, even though they had promised neutrality when bidding to host the event. Anand eventually reached Sofia on April 20, after an exhausting 40-hour road journey. Consequently, the first game was delayed by one day.

The match consisted of 12 games. After 11 games the score was tied at 5½-5½. Anand won game 12 on the Black side of a Queen's Gambit Declined to win the match and retain the World Championship. Grandmaster Viswanathan Anand is quite simply, the greatest sportsman India has ever produced.

Teesri Kassam: Doosri Kassam

Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people learn from the mistakes of others.

Gone are the days when you had to depend on pigeons to spread the word of love and wait for another month to get her reply back. Half of the time poor birds used to get confused making wrong connections like delivering my mails to your girl friend (and you used to blame me).
Pope and catholic nun fantasy must have started something like this. Pope writes a letter to choir kids who were bored of routine night prayer practice. Pigeon makes mistake and nun gets the message saying “Tonight we will have fun. We will do role play. ~ Pope”. It is perfect example of how an innocent message becomes raunchy topic due to an honest mistake.

Thanks to advances in science, love now knows no boundaries.  Reliance and social networking sites has helped love grow faster and quicker. On the negative side, the social networking sites have also given birth to a new generation of Net Romeos, stalking every female profile across globe. If you really want to imagine the pain of a Brazilian girl who receives thousands of friend requests daily on Orkut (from horney Indians), you have to think of how you feel when you get unsolicited sms from Airtel about their nonsense promotions.

Where there is demand and desperation, there will be Con man. Last week my friend decided to meet his six month old love in Rave Movie Theater only to find his own room mate as his lover. No wonder my mother said to me to stick to arrange marriage. 

But I slipped from the promise and fell in love with her.  Nearly a year ago I saw her profile on Orkut and you can say I fell in love with her on the first sight. She looked so beautiful in the profile pic that I couldn’t resist to write her a scrap. I still remember the words, “Will you be my friend.”  Though her album showed 42 snaps uploaded, but I couldn’t see them as they were locked and I had to wait for her friendship approval which I requested just after writing her that scrap. Seven days later almost when I had forgotten her, I received a scrap from her asking about my details. We were taking it slow and remained in Orkut stage for a month.

Usually web based love grows spiraling through four stages.  Orkut stage (or introductory stage) lasts for 10 days where both parties get to know each other on basic level. Since privacy is an issue with Orkut, love moves to second stage, G-Talk stage. In this stage both lovers gets more comfortable with each other gathering various personal information like count of previous boyfriends (/girlfriends). They also start sharing their pictures to each other and male will change his computer password based on her name. This stage nearly lasts for 2 months. Then lovers move to Phone stage. In this stage, phone bills start increasing and finally both parties switch to Reliance as it gives free talk time to other Reliance phones during night. At this stage lovers mostly discuss their daily routine like when did they take shower or what she bought from the market. At this stage both agrees that they love each other and can not live without each other.  Then finally comes fourth stage, Face to Face stage. Both decide to meet somewhere to discuss how they are going to disclose their love to their parents.

We took time to grow our love. For once in my life everything was beautiful and romantic. Nothing worried me, not even my falling grades as I had the power of love. I started listening to Ricky Matin (at that time he wasn’t gay). As phone bill started to climb, I switched to Reliance.

We were about to enter our fourth stage, when the catastrophe happened.  I read in the news about poor Shoaib Malik being cheated by Ayesha. I wondered how people do not have any morality left; the way Ayesha sent somebody else’s picture and deluded him to marry her.  I always believed in learning from the mistakes of others. I did not want to be next Shoaib, so I called and told her that I was sorry for breaking up as I feared she might have also sent someone else’s picture too. After she pleaded me, I told her I will only consider after we meet together.  A week ago I met her; she was more beautiful than her pictures and I thought, I was fool to even think about breaking with her.

I do not know what went wrong in the meeting; she is not picking up her phone since then. I tried calling her repeatedly. Today operator was saying, “This number does not exist.” I have already started to search for new profile. By the way, if you are on Orkut and available let me know.

How can I forget someone has also said that "Never listen to a moron". Shoaib's lies cost me my love. I took a pledge to "Never learn from morons' mistakes." Wait, I hope you consider me wise, otherwise it will be very confusing to you.

A True Behen Ji

"In U.P., it is easier to count number of stars in the sky than counting Mayawati’s statues."

In exciting news, recent survey done by NCP (National Commission on Population) has shown reduced fertility rate (nearly halved) in U.P. since Mayawati started erecting her own statues. Scientists are yet to confirm, but initial results show that significant loss in sexual appetite after even visualizing U.P. chief minister. Spokesperson of NCP, Nityanand Durachari, said in an interview, “It could be a major break through in the field of family planning. It seems like Mayawati’s erected statues have negative impact on other sorts of erection. Imagine what happens to a common man who is on a daily basis exposed to nearly hundreds of her statues. She is true “Behen Ji” unlike nurses who are called “Sisters” but everybody keeps drooling over them.” He continued further, “NCP is going to recommend it to Government and will encourage other states also to build her statues. We are also going to recommend hospitals to distribute her miniature statues along with condoms as a family planning initiative. NCP thinks it is excellent way of natural family planning.”

When chief minister was asked about it, she said that she had always national interest at heart. “I feel sad when huge number of U.P.ites are born every year just get beaten in Maharashtra. I did not want that for my kids and so I remain unmarried. Why else do you think I did not get married?” “U.P. is highest populated state in India. After discussing the issue with my advisers, we decided to divide U.P. in 5 separate states, so that population of U.P. becomes less. But central Government would not understand such easy fixes.” said Mayawati.

“Now I am thinking global. This year I went “green” by accepting multicrore garland made of notes. I did not want my followers to pluck flowers.” “Somebody told me that tree pulp is used for making notes. I suggest my followers to make a “check” (bank) garland next year, so that I can capture all their love by damaging environment least”.

“India has a tradition of molesting poor dalits, so I was targeted by Supreme Court. Now, nobody from SC will comment on the findings. I can only say, in your face SC.”  and Mayawati left to cut a 52 kg cake made especially for her birthday.

Babul Ki Duayen Leti Ja

[I swear to you, I tried my best not to write about Sania’s marriage AKA Shoaibs’s marriage controversy, but I think it was inevitable, after all being a blogger I can not keep distance from such juicy story.]

Since childhood mud was my favorite playing object. I loved throwing mud at others and perhaps that is why I still love mudslinging at others. Spreading rumors and twisting facts to defame others is oxygen to my life. But this particular story does not need any of my effort, it is already spiced enough, ready to be served and enjoyed.

It is a story of two losers, one axed from his cricket team and other never progressed further to second round (provided she was not injured, Question: If she hardly used to play, how the hell she used to get injured in the first place?) in tennis. I do not want to write about already troubled poor Shoaib Malik, after all innocent Malik was cheated by cunning Ayesha as she send him snaps of more attractive woman (even though he has seen her in person as both have picture and video together with  Ayesha’s family) and he was lured to marriage. 

Other looser is Hayderabadi, self proclaimed extraordinary tennis player who’s out standing (not outstanding) performances in tennis never won her anything in the field. Many claim that she was good for Indian tennis; people started taking interest in game. I am not sure about other Indians but my grandfather certainly started watching women’s tennis since then. He would never miss a game. Once, I just to test his knowledge about game asked a question and he replied that he hardly understands any rule of the game. Then I asked him, why the hell he watches the game them. His reply still amuses me, he told me “Who watches women’s tennis for game? If I was really interested in game, would not I watch men’s tennis? It is just good for your eyes.”  I could not agree more. If you know your game, you know what to look at.

I hardly followed her career, only because, there was nothing to follow. If I have to admire a woman sports ambassador, I will go for Saina Nehwal, who can be as hot as she plays when she wants. I still think we haven’t got all the juice from the story. Media needs to poke Sohrab Mirza (earlier engaged to Sania Mirza) on how she embarrassed her. We need more photos of Ayesha and Sohaib. In between if someone is married to Sania, he should also come forward. Let the juice flow.

It is ironically hilarious when celebrities say they should be left alone and their private life is nobody’s business. When they are on top of their world, they never miss an opportunity to come on page-3, they speak about their common cold as if it is of public interest, then why we will leave you alone when for the first time there is something for us. We will peep so badly in your life, that you will know what being celebrity means. Yeah, it is our business.

It is a Loooong Wait

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein

Dear reader, kindly bear in mind that, this post may have mild sexual reference. If you are a pervert, I am sorry to disappoint you because this is not an erotic story either. For links to erotic stories, message me or Pratap (name has not been changed to reveal the true identity) privately [:)].

My brother is getting married in June. He couldn’t be happier, and why he shouldn’t be? Two months from now, he wouldn’t have to worry even if a Gabbar Singh asks for his both hands.

I am happy too, not solely for him, after all him gone from the queue, people will now focus on me. Even though, last couple of years, openly I pretend to be indifferent towards my marriage talks, but secretly I have been eavesdropping and poking around for the facts. I think it has its own share of fun. Any new proposal makes my heart beat faster and I think “This Is IT” while every failed one makes my wait eternal.

It is not that I am afraid of doing my work on my own, but it would be nice for change. My hands are tired; colour of my palm is rubbed out; palm readers are having difficulty locating lines and worst of all I am running out of imagination. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has rubbed even an ordinary lamp so many times, it would have produced a Jeannie.

I have been dropping hints for last three years, but my insensitive parents did not take any notice. To make it easier for them, I have been using cliche like; I have been feeling lonely lately, mummy needs to relax, my all friends are getting married and even spoke in favor of child marriage, but why parents who fulfill all the desires of their children fail to realize such obvious need. Parents still thinks that we will shy on the topic like 10 year old kid. I will do favor to my son and will marry him when he will be 15, he will be in-debt for life.  See below G-Talk conversation between me and my friend.

Friend: Arrey abhi maze daar kissa hua hamare ghar mein. Hamare liye rishta aaya.
Anand: Sahi.
Friend: To hamare pitaji hamein bata rahe they. To hamne poocha " papa aapne kya bola"
Anand: Hmm.
Friend: Papa bole "Bete se pooch kar batayenge."
Anand: To tumne kya bola ?
Friend: To hamne kaha "Papa, photo to mangwa hi lijiye."
Anand: :)
Friend: Usper hamare pitaji itne barse, unhe ummed thi ki hum sharma kar bolenge.
Anand: To poocha hi kyon :)
Friend: Masti aa gayi.
Anand: :). Bhai ab kuch kar ke dikho ki pitaji ko bhi lage ki tum jimmedari sambhal sakte ho. Doosra upay hai ki bolo ki mummy ghar par kaam karti hai mujhse dekha nahi jata.
Friend: :). Ya phir bolo "pitaji ab mummy bhoodi ho gayi hain, unhen arram ki aawashyakta hai."
Anand: Aisa pelenge pitaji aur bacha kasar mummy ne sun liya to nikal dengi. Kuch ke parents to graduate hote hi haath dho kar peeche pad gaye ki kar hi lo par hamare ghar wale hi itne insensitive nikle. Unko bhi bachhe ka kasht samajhna chahiye.
Friend: Yaar yeh man baap bachche ki har zaroorat ka khayal rakhte hain. Keval is mamle mein sub maat kha jaate hain.
Anand: :)
Friend: Mein apne bachchon ka to bal vivah karva doonga. Zindagi bhar mera ehsaan mangenge.
Anand: Sahi hai. :)

Life is nothing like movies, where you go to neighbor for a cup of milk and fun starts.  I haven’t found a kinky air hostess during flight like movies either. I do not have kids, so I am not sure about baby sitters though. My point is, when we have to settle for regular fun, what is point in delaying it?

One of my friends told me that post makes me look desperate, so what, this post is for all despo bros.

How Far is too Far

M F Hussain in news again by accepting Qatar nationality and with this started discussion on how much he was justified in painting Hindu Deities naked. I watched a few of them and was really disappointed in the way intellectuals were justifying his painting by considering it an artistic freedom of expression.  

I am a man with common intelligence, but still, I know freedom must end were it starts offending others. Freedom of expression is undoubtedly an essential human right but like every right, it also has a boundary. Even in contemporary modern and free world (for “intellectual Indians”, modern and western world are synonyms) they extra precaution that they do not hurt somebody’s sentiments and perhaps that is why Black or Nigger people are not called by respective names. Any painter or artist is not different than a common man and so does not have "special" privilege to do as they wish even if it offends common people sentiments.

What is wrong in painting goddess naked?

What I do not understand is why to show one’s creativity, one has to go to that extreme which  is quite offensive to a huge section of population. Those “modern intellectuals” who doubt that the paintings were not offensive to all people; I want them to do two simple tasks. 1. A calculation:  How many Hindus reside in India and what percent of that will be offended by Hussain's paintings? I am sure, no matter how small this number would be, it will certainly be many times more than so called “intellectual liberals” in India. 2. A task: I would like these modern liberals to hang these paintings in their living room where everyday, they can enjoy these paintings with their whole family. I might be going too far, but how these modern liberals would like to get their mothers painted in completely nudity by great M F Hussain himself?  

Some people might argue that, it is just a painting and what difference does it make? It is not about any arbitrary painting, one needs to see things in context, what it stands for. A painting of goddess Durga stands for all the faith, believes and respect millions of people invest in that painting. It becomes more than a painting, an idea or an icon. This question is not about Shiv sena, Bajrang Dal or BJP, as a common man, I feel offended and so do many Hindus. If we do not come to street or throw stones on art galleries, does not mean that a common man is not offended. The hypocrisy of Hussain’s creativity is that he does not get creative while painting Prophet’s daughter or his own daughter.  He must realize that some things are sacred and everything can not be done under the freedom of expression. May be these strict boundaries differentiate us from western world for good. With huge drive to be westernizing in copycat manner, India still has to go miles to complete the transformation.

The problem with copycat westernization is that we are copying everything blindly without understanding the basics. Western culture stands for more than nudity and fast track superficial life; it stands for equality, honesty and professionalism. But sadly we are only able to see nudity and insensitivity in western culture. We started copying TV programmes without understanding whether these are suited for our society or not. A country where talking about sex is considered taboo, on the show “Sach ka Samna” contestant were asked about there ex and pre marital affairs. Funny thing is, producer justified in interviews that telling truth is what Gandhi Ji advocated and there is nothing wrong with it. But I am sure Gandhi Ji would have not liked to watch the kind of truth “Sach Ka Samna” was selling. Perhaps he was ignorant to acknowledge “Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat, na bruyat satyam apriyampriyam”. Do we really need to stoop so low at the level of cultural cannibalism for entertainment? Why can not we have a proper, fresh creativity which does not draw provocation?

Coming back to Hussain, criticizing a religion or its norms is tolerable but blasphemy against religion should not be tolerated. A line needs to drawn for creativity of artists who keeps challenging boundaries. Some things are simply not acceptable. No one should be able to sell porn on television justifying it by saying it his way of expression of love. An artist has freedom to have ideas, even paint them but not to make them public if it is going to hurt people’s sentiment.

Railway Budget 2010-2011: Paparazzi keep Devegowda awake during whole Rail Budget

Mamta Banerjee reached parliament in her new Tata Nano, dressed in her favorite light yellow-coloured saree carrying her trademark Jhola to deliver second Railway Budget of the current United Progressive Alliance Government in Lok Sabha today. Telecasting from beginning to the end, DD-1 conceded budget session is the only time of the year when it gets maximum (only) viewership. Continuing tradition of past railway ministers she kept promising goodies until almost every viewer in India got satisfied and turned off their TV sets (except old generation stuck to television set watching and analyzing live telecast as if it is really going to make any radical change in their life).  Among many attractive highlights, the tag line of this rail budget was the statement made by Didi “The Railway Budget 2010 is for the people and of the people and by the people” …….yeah yeah yeah, Lincoln again.

This year Didi promised 54 new trains out of which unlike other trains, 14 trains will run only one way; from Mumbai to Bihar. The decision was taken considering the current tense situation in Mumbai; she further explained that it will help in reducing number of North Indians in Mumbai. While BJP bitched about the decision, by declaring it MNS pleasing; MNS raised concern by stating it UPA’s meticulous move to erase their only political issue. Didi also promised 12 Durantos (non stop) trains as she recognizes these trains are hour of need, especially for trains crossing Bihar (4 Durantos will cross Bihar non-stop). She also said that considering frequent chain-pullings in Bihar, she is thinking of declaring all train crossing Bihar, Durantos.

Due to repeated sexual harassment of India's women commuters, eight trains will be designated as women-only. Though she personally felt it was not an issue as she said, “I have traveled by train in my whole life but nobody ever teased me…….. DAAAAHH but Rahul baba has been complaining about it.”

She announced railway is working under “Railways 2020 vision” and all the promises she had made but not fulfilled yet are long term goals under this vision. In critical analysis of this vision, AAJ TAK (India’s sabse tej news channel) said that this was a foolish move as world is anyway going to be destroyed in the year 2012. 

She also announced special train between India and Bangladesh to be started to commemorate 150th birth anniversary of Rabindranath Tagore to facilitate illegal immigration from Bangladesh.

In between all these promises, news channels were keeping an eye on the former Prime Minister H.D. Devegowda, ready to click his sleeping photo for “Sleeping Devegowda” calendar. Aware of the situation, he showed them his rare photo (left) with his both eyes open. At the end he was very much angry with the paparazzi, as because of them he has to be awake during whole parliament session for the first time.   

At the end Lok Sabha speaker Mira Kumar thanked MP’s for, most of them being awake for major part of the session. She also conceded last two railway budgets have been boring and remembered Lalu Yadav for presenting funnier Railway budgets.

A Wednesday

"They've asked this question on a Friday, repeated on Tuesday and I am just replying it on a Wednesday." 

It is a movie you can not miss. With talented script, fast pace and bold message, it stands out among many recent Bollywood movies. Unlike non-commercial movies, it is entertaining as well as symbolic too. Everything feels so real and true when in the end Naseeruddin Shah reveals his identity. Movie speaks on behalf of all common man in India who are just afraid to go out because of all nonsense created by terrorists. How long will our judiciary system needs to prove Kasab is a terrorist? Do we really need a trial to see whether he was guilty in Mumbai attack or not? As rightly said in the movie - We do not kill cockroaches; we pet them till somebody holds country ransom and finally frees them. 

Flawless acting from both maestros Naseeruddin Shah and Anupam Kher does justice with the story. It is a movie with heart and soul, watch it to feel it.