15 August

तारीख : १५ August
नाम: समीर
उम्र: २१ साल
पेशा: Student, Undergraduate, Engineering
कल ही रात समीर ने एक धाँसू सा ब्लॉग लिखा था, "India at age 64: Reflection and Future ahead". Posting के एक घंटे के अंदर २० comments और ३० Interesting reactions देखकर वो काफी खुश हुआ. Third year से उसने Blog लिखना शुरू किया था और पिछले एक साल में उसकी काफी बड़ी following हो गयी थी. Final year का ज्यादा समय तो बाहर की Universities में apping करने में और Foreign की companies में apply करने में चला जाता है, पर फिर भी समीर blog के लिए तो समय निकल ही लेता है. पोस्ट में उसने politicians , naxals , media , Pakistan , Kalmadi सबकी ऐसी की तैसी कर डाली थी. पर readers को तो उसके post का second half बहुत भाया था जिसमे उसने जताया था की कैसे हम सब की जिम्मेदारी बनती है India के विकास में. Paying tax, voting for right candidate, community work, active participation in politics जैसे कर्तव्य सभी के इमानदारी से निभाने से ही India उन्नती कर सकेगा. खैर हमें उसकी post से क्या लेना देना.
आज वह रोज की तरह १० बजे जागेगा और  फिर चारो तरफ बजते देशभक्ति संगीत उसे याद दिलाएंगे की आज या तो २६ January है या फिर १५ August है. PC sharing से ४-५ देशभक्ति गाने download करके winamp पर enqueue कर देगा. करीब १२ बजे उसे एक बड़ी MNC से Job offer आने वाला है. ३ साल के contract पर उसे US में posting मिली है. समीर हमेशा US जाना चाहता था. आज शाम दोस्तों को जमकर party देगा और शायद उसकी अगली post US से होगी.

नाम: शर्मा जी 
उम्र: ४२ साल
पेशा: Government employee
पिछले १७ साल से शर्मा जी सरकार की सेवा में हैं पर उन्हें किसी चीज से सबसे ज्यादा खुन्नस है तो वो सरकार ही है. बढती महँगाई, ढलती उम्र और कुँवारी बेटी के बोझ को बस एक ही समय पूरी तरह भूल पाते हैं शर्मा जी, शाम की मित्र मंडली में. Politics का विषय छिड़ा नहीं कि शर्मा जी बोल पड़ते हैं, "साली, सारी सरकार चोर है. सारे नेता अपना pocket गर्म किये पड़े हैं, किसी को हमारी और देखने कि फुर्सत ही नहीं. कामचोर साले." यह अलग बात है कि शर्मा जी कभी vote डालने नहीं जाते, ऐसे भी उनके अकेले के vote से क्या फर्क पड़ेगा. 
जब भी कोई छुट्टी Sunday को पड़ती है, शर्मा जी का mood बिगड़ जाता है. शर्मा जी ने चाय पीते हुए TV on किया. शर्मा जी कभी भी budget session और स्वतंत्रता दिवस की झाँकी देखना नहीं भूलते. Prime Minister के भाषण शुरू होते ही उन्होंने TV switch off कर दिया, "चोर साले".

नाम: छोटू
उम्र: १७ साल
पेशा: चाय वाला
अगर आपने छोटू की स्पेशल चाय नहीं पीयी तो समझो आपने चाय नहीं पीयी कभी. Politics के अखाड़े से Bollywood की रंगीनियों तक, सब पर मंत्रणा होती है उसकी दुकान पर. अपने शर्मा जी छोटू की general चाय के regular customer हैं. छोटू ने कितनी बार चिकोटी लेते हुए शर्मा जी से कहा कि साहेब आज तो स्पेशल चाय पी लो, आज स्मार्ट लग रहे हो. शर्मा जी खीजते हुए कहते हैं, " इसी चाय को स्पेशल चाय कहकर ऊँचे दाम पर बेचता है, चोर कहींका." 
आज छोटू बहुत खुश है. चूल्हे के बगल में एक रूपये का तिरंगा उसने खोस रखा है. सवेरे से रेडिओ full volume पर लोकल FM से प्रसारित देशभक्ति गाना बजा रहा है, और छोटू पूरे मान से लता का साथ दे रहा है. उसकी निगाहें लगातार सामने से गुजरती Public schools की प्रभात फेरी पर जमी हैं. उसे school dress में बच्चे बहुत अछे लगते हैं. जब कोई teacher कतार तोड़ने वाले बच्चे की कान मरोरड़ता है तो छोटू बरबस मुस्कुरा पड़ता है. कारण उसे नहीं पता, पर आज वो खुश है.

"छोटू आज स्पेशल चाय लाना", शर्मा जी पहली बार प्रसन्नचित मुद्रा में थे.
"क्या बात है साहेब, आज बड़े खुश हो."
 "बेटे समीर की job US में लगी है. लगता है सरकारी engineering college में भी पढाई अच्छी ही होती है." आज उन्हें सरकार से कोई रोष नहीं था.
"आप तो स्पेशल चाय पीयो वो भी general चाय के दाम में."

आज सभी खुश हैं. हम, आप, समीर, शर्मा जी और छोटू. इस देश ने सभी को कुछ ना कुछ दिया है. क्या हम कभी इसका कर्ज उतर पाएँगे?

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 2 #

Chapter 3: No one messes with ME!!

I hope by now you are familiar with the characters. Just to jog your memory:

Anand Mishra
Myself

Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali
Employment Processing Manager
Caltex Oil Malaysia Limited
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Malaysian Immigration

Note:
Only parts of e-mails are produced here to save you from boring parts. Read comments as well, as they will fill you in about missing details.

#           #   ~ Comments used in place of e-mail
$           $   ~ General comments

So, once it was established that someone was trying to dupe me, I planned to get back to them. Idea was to give them false hope that I am really interested in what they have offered and somehow stall them and make them work for it. I was busy getting back to my normal life in Australia so I could not reply their emails. They grew impatient and then they sent me twice the copy of contract again. They even sent me 3 sms “Check your e-mail and do the needful. Caltex Oil”. There urgency was motivating for me.
To keep them involved and present myself as potential Bakra I asked immigration guy (Razak) to start the process copying mail to Rahman Ali. Below is the response.

from: Immigration Malaysia
to: Anand Mishra
date: Mon, Jul 12, 2012 at 8:16 PM
subject: VISA and Work Permit Processing   

Dear Anand Mohan Mishra,
We have also been contacted by Your Employer CALTEX OIL COMPANY regarding your request. We are willing to help you process the Visa and Work Permit and all other relevant documentations you may need to do in order to live and work successfully here in Malaysia.

We need some more details from you in order to proceed with the Visa and Working/Residence permit and other relevant documentations processing.

# Whole list of personal details like DOB, Age, Passport number etc. #

Please note that employee has is to take care of the following visa processing fee:
(a) Visa Application Fee = $323USD
(b) Commerce and Industry Fee = $329USD
(c) Foreign Affairs Fee = $328USD
Total fee to be paid = $980USD

The above Total Fee ($980USD) should be paid through western union money transfer which will be faster using the information below:

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Immigration Department of Malaysia
Level 1-7 (Pondium) Block 2G4 Precint
Malaysia

$ Isn’t he smart. Money through Western Union. Quick way to transfer money. What did you think of Visa fee? I have never seen any country charging these kinds of fees. $

Kindly furnish us with the above information so that we can start up the processing of your Documents. We will get the Visa and Work Permit and other relevant documents for you within One week of receipt of the processing fee from you. We are enclosing our Visa application form for you to fill and return.

Looking forward to serving you better.

Best Regards,

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Malaysian Immigration

$ Ya, that is not going to happen. $

# I did not reply for another couple of days. He sent me almost the same mail again. Even though he had sent me Visa application form, to piss him of, I sent him following e-mail. #

Dear Sir,
You did not attach Visa application form with last email and all this time I was waiting for you to send it. Kindly send the document so that we can expedite the process. I am concerned about the time constraint (20/8/10) and my worry is would I be able to finish the visa process before the desired date?
Regards
Anand

$ Trying to be genuine :) $

# He sent me an application form again. In the mean while I was keeping other guy busy by asking him lots of question on contract. Now I thought to bring some twist to the story. #

Anand Mishra to Caltex Malaysia
Date: Tue, Jul 20, 2012 at 8:18 AM

Dear Sir,
Following is the update on my visa process. I am in continuous conversation with Mr. Razak Badawi. For visa approval, processing fee of $980.00 USD is asked. Sir, I come from economically backward family and I will not be able to arrange the whole amount by myself. As days passes by I am also worried about the time constraint (20/8/10) before which I have to complete visa process. Sir, I have arranged $400.00 USD on my own and I still require another $580 USD for completing the process.

Sir, I believe all these expenses will be reimbursed within a week I join Caltex Malaysia. Along with that I will be given a month salary in advance as relocation amount. Sir is it possible to get $600.00 USD ahead and sent it to me, so that I can complete the visa process without delay. When I join the firm, it could be deducted from my reimbursement. I would be highly obliged if this help is provided to me. I have strong desire to work for Caltex and I do not want to miss the opportunity.

If it could not be arranged officially, I request you Sir, to kindly support me in this testing condition and I assure you to pay you back within a week of joining the firm. I would be highly obliged under your debt and will never forget your help in this testing condition.

If you give me kind consideration, my Western Union details are

Anand Mishra
14/A Bhoot Bangla, Pahadi Kuan
Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh
India

Eagerly waiting for some positive news.

Regards
Anand Mishra

$ At least I tried to get some money out of him. I knew exactly what his answer would be and it was as I had expected. $

Caltex Malaysia to Anand Mishra
Date: Tue, Jul 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Dear Anand Mohan Mishra‏,

I write to express my feelings to you. After going through your mail, I was deeply touched, more especially observing that you are a Muslim brother. INSHA ALLAH you will overcome the situation and join the leading team CALTEX.

$ What the hell. Religion card, well played bro. $

I want you to know that I have been helping you and I am ready to render more assistance to you but while doing that I should be mindful not to go against the five pillars of Islam because I am a Muslim who believes in the pillars.

$ What pillars he is talking about? $

However, because you are a Muslim brother, you have to send $480USD to Mr Razak Badawi while I will pay $500USD from my personal money on your behalf but you will refund me the money when you start work.

I will send the $500USD to Mr Razak Badawi of Malaysia immigration and also ask him to collection the balance of $480USD from you. You seem to be the first person that has really touched my heart to this extent.

I want you to evaluate the proposal and get back to me as quickly as possible. 

Regards,

Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali

$ How sweet of him. So, I was able to keep his interest in me. $

# After that, I thanked my Muslim bro. Both frauds conveyed to me that there was a “real money” transfer between them next day and ball was in my court now and Visa process will start as soon as I transfer rest of 480$. I was suggested to give matter adequate urgency. I kept silence for a couple of days. He again sent me a mail giving lesson on urgency. Actually I was busy with one of my projects at work, so could not reply him. Today I sent immigration guy another mail. #

Anand Mishra to Immigration
Date: Fri, Jul 23, 2012 at 7:28 AM

Dear Sir,
I am sorry for the delay in response. For last two days I was busy arranging money. I have asked bank to loan me money. Because of our huge population, usually queues are very long everywhere in India. It is very hot in India and lady behind me in the queue had a baby and it was crying all the time. I almost had to stand 4hrs in queue to reach the counter.  It was hard to convince the accountant to loan me money as I come from economically backward family. On top of that, you have to bribe accountant to get your loan sanctioned. Only after he saw my letter of employment and salary amount he agreed to sanction me loan. He has asked 15% of the loan upfront as bribe which I delivered him yesterday in the evening at his home. He has assured me that I will get money on next Tuesday.

Sir, I have two requests for you. First one is, as you have received 500$ USD from my HR Manager, is it possible to start visa process as it is getting late and I do not want to miss the beautiful opportunity to live in Malaysia. I will transfer you rest of the money on Wednesday through Western Union.

Second humble request is that, I did not know before today that you have to bribe the accountant to get your loan approved. It is a huge set back for me as they could only sanction 500$USD to me out of which I gave him 75$ USD as bribe. I will only effectively receive 425$ USD from bank. Being a Muslim brother, I request you to help me in this critical condition. INSHA ALLAH, Allah is watching us and he will repay you when you will go to heaven. Sir, if you could assist me by 80$USD which I will return within a week of joining, I will be highly obliged. I will never forget your help in this matter. I will transfer rest of the money on Wednesday.

I have filled the form but I am not able to find a scanner in my locality to scan it and return it back. Is it ok if I send you the soft copy of filled form?

Regards and waiting for your kind support.

Anand

$ I had fun writing this e-mail. $

# In his response he agreed to put 80$ from his pocket and wait for me to transfer rest 400$ to his account on coming Wednesday. And they say, there are no more nice people in the world. I had touched his heart again. #

Next Post
Chapter 4: What Future Holds
Future still holds a lot for our relationship. I have faint idea in mind how it is going to pan out, but we will see. Anybody wants to suggest something is welcome to comment.