It is a Loooong Wait

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein

Dear reader, kindly bear in mind that, this post may have mild sexual reference. If you are a pervert, I am sorry to disappoint you because this is not an erotic story either. For links to erotic stories, message me or Pratap (name has not been changed to reveal the true identity) privately [:)].

My brother is getting married in June. He couldn’t be happier, and why he shouldn’t be? Two months from now, he wouldn’t have to worry even if a Gabbar Singh asks for his both hands.

I am happy too, not solely for him, after all him gone from the queue, people will now focus on me. Even though, last couple of years, openly I pretend to be indifferent towards my marriage talks, but secretly I have been eavesdropping and poking around for the facts. I think it has its own share of fun. Any new proposal makes my heart beat faster and I think “This Is IT” while every failed one makes my wait eternal.

It is not that I am afraid of doing my work on my own, but it would be nice for change. My hands are tired; colour of my palm is rubbed out; palm readers are having difficulty locating lines and worst of all I am running out of imagination. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has rubbed even an ordinary lamp so many times, it would have produced a Jeannie.

I have been dropping hints for last three years, but my insensitive parents did not take any notice. To make it easier for them, I have been using cliche like; I have been feeling lonely lately, mummy needs to relax, my all friends are getting married and even spoke in favor of child marriage, but why parents who fulfill all the desires of their children fail to realize such obvious need. Parents still thinks that we will shy on the topic like 10 year old kid. I will do favor to my son and will marry him when he will be 15, he will be in-debt for life.  See below G-Talk conversation between me and my friend.

Friend: Arrey abhi maze daar kissa hua hamare ghar mein. Hamare liye rishta aaya.
Anand: Sahi.
Friend: To hamare pitaji hamein bata rahe they. To hamne poocha " papa aapne kya bola"
Anand: Hmm.
Friend: Papa bole "Bete se pooch kar batayenge."
Anand: To tumne kya bola ?
Friend: To hamne kaha "Papa, photo to mangwa hi lijiye."
Anand: :)
Friend: Usper hamare pitaji itne barse, unhe ummed thi ki hum sharma kar bolenge.
Anand: To poocha hi kyon :)
Friend: Masti aa gayi.
Anand: :). Bhai ab kuch kar ke dikho ki pitaji ko bhi lage ki tum jimmedari sambhal sakte ho. Doosra upay hai ki bolo ki mummy ghar par kaam karti hai mujhse dekha nahi jata.
Friend: :). Ya phir bolo "pitaji ab mummy bhoodi ho gayi hain, unhen arram ki aawashyakta hai."
Anand: Aisa pelenge pitaji aur bacha kasar mummy ne sun liya to nikal dengi. Kuch ke parents to graduate hote hi haath dho kar peeche pad gaye ki kar hi lo par hamare ghar wale hi itne insensitive nikle. Unko bhi bachhe ka kasht samajhna chahiye.
Friend: Yaar yeh man baap bachche ki har zaroorat ka khayal rakhte hain. Keval is mamle mein sub maat kha jaate hain.
Anand: :)
Friend: Mein apne bachchon ka to bal vivah karva doonga. Zindagi bhar mera ehsaan mangenge.
Anand: Sahi hai. :)

Life is nothing like movies, where you go to neighbor for a cup of milk and fun starts.  I haven’t found a kinky air hostess during flight like movies either. I do not have kids, so I am not sure about baby sitters though. My point is, when we have to settle for regular fun, what is point in delaying it?

One of my friends told me that post makes me look desperate, so what, this post is for all despo bros.

How Far is too Far

M F Hussain in news again by accepting Qatar nationality and with this started discussion on how much he was justified in painting Hindu Deities naked. I watched a few of them and was really disappointed in the way intellectuals were justifying his painting by considering it an artistic freedom of expression.  

I am a man with common intelligence, but still, I know freedom must end were it starts offending others. Freedom of expression is undoubtedly an essential human right but like every right, it also has a boundary. Even in contemporary modern and free world (for “intellectual Indians”, modern and western world are synonyms) they extra precaution that they do not hurt somebody’s sentiments and perhaps that is why Black or Nigger people are not called by respective names. Any painter or artist is not different than a common man and so does not have "special" privilege to do as they wish even if it offends common people sentiments.

What is wrong in painting goddess naked?

What I do not understand is why to show one’s creativity, one has to go to that extreme which  is quite offensive to a huge section of population. Those “modern intellectuals” who doubt that the paintings were not offensive to all people; I want them to do two simple tasks. 1. A calculation:  How many Hindus reside in India and what percent of that will be offended by Hussain's paintings? I am sure, no matter how small this number would be, it will certainly be many times more than so called “intellectual liberals” in India. 2. A task: I would like these modern liberals to hang these paintings in their living room where everyday, they can enjoy these paintings with their whole family. I might be going too far, but how these modern liberals would like to get their mothers painted in completely nudity by great M F Hussain himself?  

Some people might argue that, it is just a painting and what difference does it make? It is not about any arbitrary painting, one needs to see things in context, what it stands for. A painting of goddess Durga stands for all the faith, believes and respect millions of people invest in that painting. It becomes more than a painting, an idea or an icon. This question is not about Shiv sena, Bajrang Dal or BJP, as a common man, I feel offended and so do many Hindus. If we do not come to street or throw stones on art galleries, does not mean that a common man is not offended. The hypocrisy of Hussain’s creativity is that he does not get creative while painting Prophet’s daughter or his own daughter.  He must realize that some things are sacred and everything can not be done under the freedom of expression. May be these strict boundaries differentiate us from western world for good. With huge drive to be westernizing in copycat manner, India still has to go miles to complete the transformation.

The problem with copycat westernization is that we are copying everything blindly without understanding the basics. Western culture stands for more than nudity and fast track superficial life; it stands for equality, honesty and professionalism. But sadly we are only able to see nudity and insensitivity in western culture. We started copying TV programmes without understanding whether these are suited for our society or not. A country where talking about sex is considered taboo, on the show “Sach ka Samna” contestant were asked about there ex and pre marital affairs. Funny thing is, producer justified in interviews that telling truth is what Gandhi Ji advocated and there is nothing wrong with it. But I am sure Gandhi Ji would have not liked to watch the kind of truth “Sach Ka Samna” was selling. Perhaps he was ignorant to acknowledge “Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat, na bruyat satyam apriyampriyam”. Do we really need to stoop so low at the level of cultural cannibalism for entertainment? Why can not we have a proper, fresh creativity which does not draw provocation?

Coming back to Hussain, criticizing a religion or its norms is tolerable but blasphemy against religion should not be tolerated. A line needs to drawn for creativity of artists who keeps challenging boundaries. Some things are simply not acceptable. No one should be able to sell porn on television justifying it by saying it his way of expression of love. An artist has freedom to have ideas, even paint them but not to make them public if it is going to hurt people’s sentiment.