Papa

Re posted: because I know, he must have cried today.

पिताजी की बात बेबात पर रोने की आदत है.  माँ कहती है की तुम्हारी चर्चा हो तो emotional हो जाते हैं, इसलिए रोते हैं. मैं कहता हूँ की ख़ुशी के मौके पर भी कोई इस तरह रोता है क्या ?

छुट्टियों में घर आया था और शाम को परिवार की मंडली जमी थी.

“लोग पूछते हैं कि, बेटा बाहर कमाता है, कुछ चुपका पैसा तुम को भी भेजता होगा?” मौका पाकर माँ मेरी टांग खीच रही थी.

“जब में पढाई कर रहा था तो सारा खर्चा पापाजी ही दिया करते थे. तुमने तो कभी चुपका 10 रुपया भी pocket money नहीं दिया.”

सब हँस रहे थे और पापा आंसू पोछ रहे थे.

चाहे उन्होंने मेरे IIT में qualify करने की खबर सुनी हो या graduation convocation के बाद मैंने उनके पैर लगे हों या फिर किसी ने चाय पर मेरी बड़ाई कर दी हो, वो हर बार रोये हैं.

उन्होंने कभी मुझे गले से नहीं लगाया. कभी मुझसे नहीं कहा की “तुम पर नाज है”. माँ तो हर बार लम्बी सी झप्पी देती है. फिर पापा क्यों नहीं? माँ कहती है उनको प्यार जताने का बस यही तरीका आता है.

"Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 217A to Melbourne. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately five minutes time. Thank you."

Announcement ख़त्म होने तक पापा उलटी दिशा में मुड़ चुके थे. मैंने backpack कंधे पर डाला और मम्मी के पैर छूआ. सीधे होते ही मम्मी ने बड़ी सी झप्पी दी, और पापा जी को खीच कर मेरे पास लायी. आँखों से बड़े - बड़े आंसू बिना आवाज के ढलक रहे थे. कोई इतने भी आंसू बहता है क्या?

Vimla Mausi

सामान शिफ्ट करते, शाम के 4 बज गए. नये मकान की लोकेशन अच्छी है. बस पांच मिनट पैदल स्टेशन है.

"खीर बना रही हूँ, खा कर ही मार्केट जाना." कहकर उमा kitchen में घुस गयी.
"थोडा ज्यादा खीर बनाना. कुछ पड़ोसियों में भी बाँट आयेंगे. इसी बहाने पहचान भी हो जाएगी." मैंने जोर से कहा.
"अरे बाबा kitchen में ही हूँ चाँद पर थोड़े ही ना गयी हूँ जो इतना चिल्ला रहे हो. " उसने kitchen से झांकते हुए मुस्कुरा कर कहा. इस कांग्रेस की सरकार में, उसकी मुस्कुराहट की ही तो price अब तक नहीं बढ़ी. 

पड़ोसियों से शाम की वार्तालाप के बाद एक बात तो समझ में आ गई थी कि सामने वाली विमला मौसी काफी famous हैं.  कारण कोई बताने को तैयार नहीं था, सब बस कह रहे थे कि कुछ दिनों में आप खुद समझ जाइएगा.

सवेरे नींद खुली तो पता चला कि सामने वाली विमला मौसी ने आसमान सर पर उठा रखा है. किसी ने motorcycle रात में उनके फाटक के सामने पार्क कर दिया था.  चाय पीते हुए मैंने उमा को कहा कि जिसकी भी bike है, वो तो गया काम से. उमा ने खिड़की से बाहर झांकते हुए कहा कि "लग तो अपनी ही रही है".

मैंने चाय का प्याला जल्दी से नीचे रखा और तेज क़दमों से बाहर निकल गया.
"मौसी वो कल जल्दबाजी में गलती हो गयी." bike अपने campus में करते हुए मैंने कहा. बदकिस्मती से reverse करते वक्त motorcycle ने पास बंधी गाय को ठोकर मार दिया. बस फिर क्या था, मनो मौसी की पूँछ में आग लगा गयी हो. मौसी ने मेरे और उमा के सात पुश्तों को कोस डाला. सारे पडोसी बाहर खड़े होकर आनंद ले रहे थे. 

"अब समझ आया कि विमला मौसी क्यों famous हैं. बहुत दिनों बाद दुबारा ऐसी गलियाँ सुनने का मौका लगा." मैंने उमा से मुस्कुरा कर कहा. उधर मौसी जी अभी भी सुवचन बाँट रही थीं.

कुछ ही दिनों में हम मौसी को अच्छी तरह जान गए. विमला मौसी जब पूरे रंग में आती हैं तो आपको अपने सारे भूले-बिछड़े रिश्तेदार की याद दिला देती हैं. उन्होंने तो चंद दिनों में मेरे उन पूर्वजों को भी अपने सुभाशीष से खंगाल डाला था जो बन्दर रहे होंगे. विमला मौसी ऐसे काफी innovative हैं गालियों के मामले में. धाराप्रवाह एक से बढ कर एक गलियाँ देती हैं. कल जब वो पूरे फॉर्म में शर्मा जी पर बरस रही थीं तो मुझे अपनी हिंदी grammar की "संधि" (combining sounds) की classes याद आ गयी. सिर्फ एक शब्द से संधि कराकर मौसी ने अनगिनत शब्द बना डाले थे.

शर्मा जी बता रहे थे की मौसी को Low blood pressure है. मैंने भगवन का लाख-लाख शुक्रियादा किया कि अपनी किस्मत अच्छी है जो मौसी को High blood pressure नहीं है. वर्ना मौसी न जाने क्या-क्या करती? यूँ तो मौसी बुरे दिनों में झाड़-पात से भी झगडा खोट लेती हैं, पर ऐसा मौका मोहल्ले वालों ने दिया नहीं या यूँ कहें मौसी ने ऐसा मौका आने नहीं दिया.

यूँ सोचिये तो इसमें केवल बुराई ही नहीं है. जब मौसी कल सुभाशीष दे रही थीं तो उमा को याद आया कि उसने बहुत दिनों से अपने पापा से बात नहीं की है.  मौसी ने उसे उसके पापा लगाकर कोई गाली दी थी. मेरी माँ कहती है कि जो लोग बोल देते हैं, उनका मन साफ होता है. मौसी का दिल भी साफ था. कभी भी कोई मदद की जरूरत हो तो मौसी कभी मना नहीं करती थी. ये बात अलग है की अगले ही झगडे के मौके पर पूरी कालोनी वालों के सामने उलहना दे देती थीं.

रात को खाने पर उमा ने चर्चा छेड़ा कि ऐसे माहौल का बच्चों पर बुरा असर पड़ेगा. कोई नया मकान जल्द  ही ढूंढना पड़ेगा. मैंने उसे समझाया कि ऐसे भी बच्चे अभी छोटे हैं और दो चार गलियाँ सीख भी लें तो कोई बुराई नहीं है. यह भी हमारे culture का एक हिस्सा है जो शहरीकरण के साथ नष्ट होता जा रहा है.  ऐसे भी कब तक समस्याओं से भागते फिरेंगे, कोई ना कोई समस्या तो हरेक जगह होगी. मैं लोकेशन की वजह से मकान change  नहीं करना चाह रहा था.  

"एक समाधान है मेरे दिमाग में. बस तुम्हारी मंजूरी चाहिए." मैंने उमा से नजरें चुराते हुए कहा. "लोहे को लोहा ही काट सकता है." मैं इशारों में ही उसे समझाना चाह रहा था. 

 "मैं समझी नहीं." ......"Ohh NOO!!!..कहीं आप ..?"
"OHH Yess.." 

उसने मुस्कुराते हुए स्वीकृति में हामी भरी और मैं मोबाइल लेकर कॉल लगाने बाहर चला आया.

शाम को दरवाजे पर ही पता चल गया की नानी आ चुकी है. अन्दर वह उमा पर बरस रही थीं. मैंने नानी के पाँव छूए और नाना का हाल चाल पूछा. फिर मैंने बच्चों को नानी को आसपास दिखा लाने को कहा. मैंने नजरों से ही उमा को समझाया कि बस थोड़े ही दिनों की बात है.

बात कुछ ऐसी है कि मेरी नानी दिन में जब तक किसी से झगडा ना कर लें तो उनका खाना नहीं पचता. इसी कारण मैंने कल नानी को call लगाया था. विमला मौसी की काबिलियत देखकर मुझे लगा कि कोई उन्हें टक्कर दे सकता है तो वो मेरी नानी ही है. दो शेर आमने सामने हों तो टक्कर पक्की है, बस अब मुझे इन्तजार करना था. रात को मैंने अपनी motorcycle विमला मौसी के फाटक के सामने पार्क कर दी और सोने चला आया. बस इन्तजार सुबह होने का था.

उमा ने मुझे झकझोर कर जगाया. बाहर बहुत शोर मचा हुआ था. उमा ने बताया की सवेरे नानी टहलने निकली हुई थीं और जब वापस आयीं तो विमला मौसी आप को गलियाँ दे रही थीं. बस फिर क्या था, दोनों तभी से जमे पड़े हैं. 

"जल्दी फ्रेश हो लीजिये नहीं तो आप miss कर जायेंगे. मैंने चाय टेबल पर रख दिया है और में बाहर जा रही हूँ."
"ठीक है, पर तुम बाहर मत निकलना. मैं नहीं चाहता कि तुम कुछ बोलकर नानी का पलड़ा हल्का कर दो."
दो घंटे तक चली लड़ाई का मैंने भरपूर आनंद लिया. मन ही मन सोचा चलो आज parliament session नहीं भी देखूँगा तो काम चलेगा. विमला मौसी, नानी के उम्र और तजुर्बे से मात खा गयी थीं. सब शांत हो जाने के बाद मैं शान से motorcycle लेकर बाजार निकल गया. 

पिछले दो दिनों से मोहल्ले में शांति है. शाम को आया तो पता चला कि नानी मौसी के घर पर हैं. मौसी खुद बुलाने आयी थीं. मैंने कहा कि ये भी सही है, आखिर कितने दिन पडोसी से झगडा रख सकते हैं.

उमा ने मुझे झकझोर कर जगाया. बाहर बहुत शोर मचा हुआ था. मैंने पूछा कि अब क्या हुआ? उसने हँसते हुए कहा कि आप खुद देख लीजिये. बाहर भीड़ जमी थी. विमला मौसी और मेरी नानी मिलकर शर्मा जी को उनके खानदान की याद दिला रही थीं. मैंने मन ही मन कहा की चोर चोर आखिर मौसेरे भाई ही होते हैं. शर्मा जी की तो दूर दूर तक मुझे खैरियत नजर नहीं आ रही थी. शाम को ही मैंने नानी का सामान बंधा और वापस भेज दिया. विमला मौसी स्टेशन तक छोड़ने आई थी.

Bhookh

While browsing blogs, I came across this very lovely poem by Parul ( see her blog in the "Blog list" Rhythm of words ....) and I could not resist myself from posting it on my blog with her due permission. Post is called "Bhookh".

Idea about AAP

You are not the real candidate, the real candidate is the idea.

Transformation of AAP  from the margins of civil society movement into a successful political party has been nothing short of a fairy tale. Almost a month has passed since they formed government with outside support of Congress – the party whom they criticized unrelentingly – and throughout the period they have been put to scrutiny by critics and followers alike. They have been point of discussions not only  in premier television shows but also among otherwise politically less active netizens.

In this write up I will try to analyze the idea of AAP. I have the used the word “idea” because I want to discuss it from the idealistic  point of view. Realistic factual abberations, like Binny’s revolt or vigilantism of Bharti will be overlooked.

Lack of alternative:

Success of AAP does not emanate from personality cult, but it is rooted in failure of existing apathetic, corrupt and manipulative political system which is unable to meet peoples rising expectations. As people become literate and aware of comparative realities, the demand for better governance is inevitable. However, in absence of alternative political paradigm, either people had turned apolitical (educated middle class) or kept on voting on issues which have not changed (rather, degenerated further into factionalism) since Indira Gandhi introduced populism in India.

Limitations of civil society movement:

In absence of alternatives, various civil society groups took up the issue of good governance on various forum (judiciary, right to information, protest, petitions etc.) which produced some desirable changes. However, these changes have been too slow rather than paradigmatic in nature. The inertia of existing political elites have been too much to overcome by reformative measures alone. The ones who can make changes are the one’s with the vested interest. In such case, any quality outcome from parliament was too much to expect.

The apathy of government to engage with civil society (unless their political clout is at stake) and even use of propaganda and force to suppress such movements have been detrimental to morality of civil society movements. It is unfortunate that the first response of state against the protesters (Delhi Gang Rape case, POSCO case, Kudankulam Nuclear plant)  has been invariably use of police or shutdown the transport system. Discrediting activism either by saying they are foreign funded or anti-nationalist, narrows the room for dissent in democracy. Limitations of reformative civil movements were never more so apparent, when shamelessly politicians asked anti-corruption activists to challenge current system either by joining politics or watch helplessly the anarchy.

The Idea of AAP:

AAP stands for wish of people to be governed better, idea of change, idea of people’s supremacy,  and demoralizing immorality in existing political system. It stands for courage of civil society to challenge apathetic state and synchronizing it with ground realities. The success of AAP has already forced political parties to change their approach. If nothing else, atleast it spooked them to pass Lokpal Bill (after 40+ years). It is rightly said monopoly leads to inefficiency and corruption. Alternative that AAP presents, also rekindles the faith that civil society can and will take courageous steps to correct aberrations in state. Politicians need to realize that democracy is not government by politicians, rather by people and for the people.

The reality can never be ideal. AAP has long way to go to achieve the idea. However, it keeps my faith in democracy and civil society alive. It gives me courage to be idealistic. After all, AAP is not the candidate, it is the idea which is the real candidate.

2 Crows

Once a house was on fire and everybody was trying their best to put out the fire. One crow (First Crow) was watching the whole process from a distance. He saw a crow (Second Crow) flying back and forth between the burning house and a well, and trying to put out the fire with whatever water he could hold in his beak. The idea amused the First Crow. Once the fire was extinguished, Second Crow flew back to his nest next to First Crow’s.
First Crow asked Second Crow, “You know it wasn’t making any difference. Why you were wasting your energy?”
Second Crow replied, “At least when somebody will write this story, I will not be the one who was sitting while somebody’s house was burning.”

It is easy to be the first crow, but it needs courage to be the second; Keep trying even when you feel it is not going to make any difference.

Yeh Jo Desh Hai Tera

Today I had a long discussion with my roommate about various aspects of Indian administration and responsibility of people in democracy. Somehow our discussion drifted towards better governance in developed nations and why it does not works for India.

It started with why Indians hide tax. He was saying that people are not doing anything unreasonable by not returning tax as he can’t see any change happening to India. His father regularly pays tax and still road in front of his house has pits. There water shortage, sewage problem, electricity problem and many more which he reminded me. His point was fair but we need to see other facet of it. Tax is one of the ways by which government raises fund for development. Majority of people do not pay tax and feel proud about it. The problem is, for every small problem we curse government. Either it is a pile of garbage on the road or electricity cut, straight away we put onus on government. A close observation will reveal that for many of the problems simply we as a civilian of nation are responsible. Even if there is a specified place for garbage, people tend to throw stuff everywhere where ever they like. People are very happy to steal electricity but when there is a cut they will make hue and cry. If we introspect candidly ourselves then you will find, all of us never miss an opportunity to pay a small bribe for bigger legitimate amount which can help Government. In our day today life we misuse so much of electricity and water. We have to realize that with our growing population and living standard unless we do our duty honestly (utilizing resources wisely) it is going to pile up pressure on our Government. I have seen teachers recruited in Government school shy away from their duty. They either not conduct classes or not try to give their best in the class. Most of the development schemes fail because people involved were not performing up to their expectation. Take the case of IITians. Government subsidizes our studies. It invests so much in institution and what many alumni like me is doing? I was working in Australia; paying tax over there and helping it grow. It is simply lack of responsibility. A little effort (tendency) to help Government could make a drastic change in India’s situation.

Our system is infested with corruption and bribery. It is us who take or perpetuate bribery. Even if we are giving bribery, we are basically facilitating the corrupt system. Politicians are laundering money but we are the one who choose then in the first place. If we feel something is not right then why do we not raise voice? When we will stand up and be countable? If we feel politics is filled with corrupt people then why can not we raise a group of clean politicians? It is we who have made India this way and nobody else and we should take full responsibility of it. A country is made by its citizens and unless their citizens care about the country, how it is going to change. Everybody thinks that it does not matter whether he does his responsibility properly or not, as he is just a person. The problem is that everybody (close to 95%) thinks like that. Nobody is going to clean our closet unless we do it ourselves.  So do not think that any of us is less guilty. If you can not do anything, at least not add to India’s problem.

I would like to refer movie “Swadesh”. How well and aptly leading actress says that it is not only Government responsible for India’s growth, every citizen has also a part to play. We are not different from Government. We are Government.

I have seen a positive vibe in the horizon. Many young people (especially many IITians) are thinking about the country. Media has become responsible and judiciary has done some excellent work. I can say this is the beginning and it will take decades to recover properly. Contribute as much as you can. Always remember, “A country is as good as its citizen”.

And he said, it all sounds good, but it is not reality. It may be hard to achieve, but if we all share the same dream then I see no reason that why it can not be achieved. Join politics, public administration or whatever you do, make our dream a reality. Are you with me?

Silver Lining

Yesterday I saw my first silver hair and I thought may be I am getting old. There it was, standing conspicuous like wise man among normal mortals. I checked it again and again hoping it to be illegal immigrant, but it was 100% indigenous.

Soon I will have trouble with walking and remembering things. But I still remember you after all you were my first love. May be someone told your name yesterday at the pub, but I can not remember it now. But I still remember your smile, your smell and your first touch. May be we went on a date and I am sure it would have been very nice. Thanks for being so kind to me and I hope I will remember your name again.

“Hey Anand, what are you smiling at? It is getting dark. Let us go home.” She was almost standing.

“I just remembered my first love. I think I was in senior secondary school and she used to sit on the first bench.”

“But didn’t you study in a boy school?”

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Have you ever felt that you are stuck in a moment and you can not get out of it? I do not know about you but I surely have felt that way for a long time. I always wonder why people do most of the stuff, they do? I have heard people say, they want to do MBA or higher studies or prepare for civil cervices. But question is do they really want to do that or it is simply because they satisfy certain requirements these options need and hence it is a popular choice among such people.

If you are the one who is making such a decision then ask yourself, “Why do you want to do this?”  If you really want to do it, then certainly you should be able to answer the question aptly. Once you have thought (promptly) your answer, read further.
Unless your answer without further query, clearly explains how this will give you ultimate satisfaction or happiness in your life, probably you are simply following a trend, and so, this is not what you really want. By ultimate happiness I mean, ultimate state of happiness; nothing else you can do which will make you happier than that, so it should be end of your search for happiness.

Take example of a guy who wants to do MBA. If he wants to do it just because he will get a high paying job in a respected company then in my view he is just following the trend. There always will be a higher paying job or more respected company than his current employment so he will never achieve a state of ultimate happiness, where there is no next step. Reply should be able to answer fundamental question of his needs and not a variable state which itself will never be constant. If whatever you think will make you happy, itself is not constant then how will you ever achieve ultimate state. But if he answers, he likes to manage things and enjoys organizing stuff then he deserves the profession. First person can be at the top of world and still won’t enjoy it or second can be managing a small group in a small firm and will make most of it. Do higher studies if study really interests you or you enjoy sharing knowledge and not because you have a good CPA. Go in administrative job if you want to contribute to society and you have motivation to solve civil problems.

Most of the times, you can not do what you want to do because of complicated social equations. There is nothing wrong in following the trend, but realizing that your real happiness lies somewhere else at least you will try to find opportunity to do the right thing. I enjoy teaching and love getting involved in social work. I will fight for my happiness, so should you.

Grandmother

I do not know whether people go to heaven after death or not, for me, as long as you remember me after my death, I will be in heaven.

As far as my memory goes, I have always seen her old, just like all other grandmothers. She does not grow like me or you. Her steps are getting smaller and skin getting bigger for her body by each passing day. She is my patronus charm against my angry mother, my piggy bank when father grounds my pocket money, my savior when my grandfather tries to sneak in bookish knowledge between his made-up stories, my equal partner in crimes and a true friend. She has silver in her hair, gold in her heart and most nerdy looking glasses on her eyes. She is my lovely grandmother.

She is full of stories, the kind which you do not find in books. She will tell me stories about ojhas catching ghosts, kul nag devta drinking milk, dead villagers still living on village neem tree and then she will walk me to the toilet because I was too scared. She makes me believe in witches, fairies and God. She offers ladoo in her prayers as she knows I love them.

We both had weakness for sweets and so whenever we will go to the market, she will buy sweets. Later she will fudge expenditure on the goods to make up for the sweets, but as she was not good at mathematics, she will end up reporting more than she was given in the first place with still few rupees to spare. Once I learned addition, there wasn’t any further calculation hiccups. 

My grandfather loves teaching kids and my both parents are teacher, so all together they orchestra a nightmare for a kid like me. So, she was the coolest one with no discipline around her.  She could feel the heat when I pretend to be sick for school. She would announce lunch time as soon as she sees me getting bored with studies.

Past few years have been hard on her. Her vision and hearing is deteriorating by the day. She could hardly understand anyone on mobile. Still, she grabs the mobile whenever she learns I am calling and will try her best to understand what I am saying. During last call she said that she misses me much and wants to see me. She can not hear me anymore but still wants me to call her every week. She has saved some money to buy sweets for both of us. She wants me to buy her a nice saree from my salary and she wants to wear it during my marriage.

She died last month. She did not give me enough time to even make my next call. I was not there when she died. I am sure she would have liked me to be there by her side. I miss my friend a lot.

Is Chaman Mein Bhi Bahar Aani Chahiye

I distinctly remember those days back in the school, when one of my friends has a peculiar habit of counting the number of bald people crossing us on our way home. At that point I thought what a weird habit. But now I have developed the similar habit. I count the number of people having less hair than me. Luckily for me, the number from old times has increased considerably, giving me lots of false confidence.

There was a time when I had dense forest on my head and combing my entangled curly hair was a painful job. I used to love to see falling flocks of hair on the ground when barber used to cut my hair. I used to dream to shave my whole head so that I could feel exact size of my skull. And now I am living the dream. I get to shave my head even if I don't want to, and interpolation of past data shows that this dream is soon going to end and one day I will wake up with all my hairs gone.

I try hard to forget all about my hair, but there are some, who always remind me that I am losing my hair at a rapid rate. I can not believe, people can be so insensitive. And, I absolutely hate it when people say "Why don't you do something", as if I have left any stone unturned to fulfill my heartily desire of growing my hairs back. I have only one thing to say to them, tell me the solution (Which can actually work) or shut up. Sometimes I stand in front of mirror and go back in time to grow my hair back again; stand bewitched, but as someone said reality bites.

Not that going bald doesn't have its benefits. According to some of my well wishers, I don't have to spend on Shampoo or any other hair products. It even saves from trouble of combing. Just smear little oil and you are ready, shiny and sparkling. People always think that I have already taken the bath even though I had just woken up. The biggest advantage is added seniority to my looks which automatically brings respect in the workplace. My best friends from college Pratap, Gour and Mishra are also losing hairs at a very fast rate. According to some magazine, “Bald” is going to be the next Fashion. Very optimistic huh....

Remember the proverb "Grapes are sour, they really are."- who needs hair. So I hate hair on my head. Who am I kidding..... :(. I absolutely adore them. Today I swore to follow on the ultimate quest to get my hair back. Only if someone could give me Harsh Bhogle’s contact number, it would be much easier. Until my quest is complete, I will have to make peace with the reality- Deforestation is a big problem for the world at large and especially for my head.

Newton and me

Being a geek I always trusted science for explanations and luckily enough, it never let me down until ….

In eighth standard, Newton suggested that everything attracts every other thing with a force directly proportional to the product of their masses and since then I tried to explain all sorts of attraction on the basis of the law. Based on this law, I used to develop my own corollaries like two fat people would fall in love quicker than two normal people. Even as a kid, I knew something was wrong with my corollary. I used to blame surrounding conditions for my failure as I knew all physics rules are made only for carrying out experiments in perfect space with ideal conditions. Concept of “Zero figure” almost shattered my whole proposition and made me think, how someone’s loosing weight can make Saif Ali Khan dribble, even in his old age. That was the first blow to my deep faith in science.

In eleventh standard, my physics teacher told us that “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. From childhood I have been experimental by nature. So, I decided to test the theory. I punched the guy sitting next to me in the class. Next thing I realized was, you certainly get an opposite reaction but I was not so sure about the “equal” part of the theory. To me, it was many times the action force I had applied. But I was happy that at least half of the theory could be proven even in practical condition.

This was the same year I started feeling different about her. Only rational explanation I could think of was that, I was feeling her gravitational pull. Answer raised couple of more questions; why only now, why not earlier? And why I do not feel the same pull for my best friend or as matter anyone else? I am not good with senses. My five receptors do not work that well. So it was a good news that my antenna was at least catching one signal. Her signal had certainly (must have) strengthened with development of her body (increased weight?). Rest became clear when I learned Coulomb’s law of attraction. Only opposite charges attract each other. That was a great relief as I only had to expect signals from half of the population. May be with time I will catch more signals from different ones.

I must say, gravitational pull is very strong pull. I could feel her existence even when she was away.  I thought to test my 11th standard learning again. I thought, this is time to take action to get a reaction. I wrote her a letter and placed it in her notebook.

For 2 days there was no reaction and I wondered which external factor has introduced lag in the response. I kept searching my notebooks for letter. Finally on the third day I got response, not from her, but by her brother, very strong one. After that suddenly all gravitational pull was gone and I reached to the decision that some actions do have severe reaction.

Ultimately I concluded, may be love is not governed by laws of physics. Love is the most irrational concept. It is not absolute like science and that’s why people have different preferences; some like cars and some beautiful models around them. Somebody needs to write a book on theories of love so that geeks like me who like reading theories and applying them can be benefitted.

6.2.1

Here I am, after 6 months being in love, 2 months of unconscious break up and 1 month after breakup. I would not say I am completely back, but have recovered enough to look forward. This post is to put a full stop to everything happened in last 9 months and an outset of a new beginning. 

I still feel a bit hurt, just on the left side of the chest, and still can not watch corny Bollywood love stories, but I am doing more than fine. Once again my mind has taken command over the heart, and my heart is beating for the sole purpose to pump blood only, nothing else. I am purging all the memories I have of her and only souvenirs I am left with is a diary, a key ring and a smiley clip. 

I still feel she was a nice person, but too stubborn. I am thankful to her for fine memories and will always think of her as a good friend. 

Anyways, a lot is left to achieve in this life and I going to try my luck in some of these opportunities. I have to be strong and focused and beware of diversions. For sure, it is going to be hell of a ride.

Friend

I had a bird. I wanted to know how much it liked me, so I opened the cage and the bird flew away.

Some friendships are broken for good.

Voyage to the end of Universe

Chapter 1: The significant ones

28Feb, 2069 5:00 PM

He turned off the Television, sunk deep in his chair fitting perfectly in his permanent ass prints on the padding and muttered, “Tomorrow will be a historic day”. The uncomfortable pairing of words tomorrow and historic in the same sentence amused him.

Tomorrow was special in every sense, as it was 75th birthday of music icon Justin Bieber, who still was shaking at this age with his Pop anthem “Hey Baby” (digital remaster of original song “Baby” which was named incorrectly due to music company screw up); but it wasn’t historic for him for this reason as any day he preferred prostate check over Bieber’s songs. He wondered what happened to the real music and why nobody killed like of Miley Cyrus and Bieber to save the world from this torture.

Now days he wonders as lot, just like all other insignificant ones. He is a character in very insignificant part of the story and is only chosen because he is old enough to brood over the past (which he likes a lot) to help us to build premise of the story and not too old to be senile and totally useless like historians in solving quadratic equations. He is like those insignificant details that grow very tightly around significant one; just like insignificantly important “running naked” details to Archimedes, after the significantly important discovery of “buoyancy”. But do not get confused, this is a story of significant ones.

His mind wandered in the past when things were not so complicated. He liked old time when Pi was still 3.14, “g” meant gravitational acceleration, he believed Tom hanks was an astronaut on Apollo 13 mission and standing on one leg on a weighing machine does halve one’s weight. Now everything was so precise and politically correct that it felt medicated to him. They ruined the cult series The Big Bang Theory when the new producers decided to infuse love angle between Sheldon and Penny. He never cared to watch reality shows like of “I have seen 10th dimension” or “I have counted infinity twice”.

Though, over the years he did like few things. He liked when a Chinese guy invented a treadmill for cows so that they can give skimmed milk. He liked when Apple was banned from upgrading every month and made to support flash. He liked when Windows conceded Vista was its second biggest mistake, only next to their overambitious thought of putting pretty pictures in the backdrop of Bing will bring any popularity.  He liked the sick joke, on the death of Prince Charles, that Prince Charles was buried with a chair as he did not have it when he was alive. He made lot of nuisance when a mms caught him saying, “That old lady won’t die”.

He switched on TV again. A big spaceship was on the screen. For last few days they have been continuously telecasting reports on tomorrow’s launch of “Laika”; spaceship was named Laika after the first dog to go in space as Neil Armstrong still struggled to qualify for the first man. As camera zoomed and panned the body of spaceship, he could read clearly USA painted in red colour. It was a massive ship with three propellants. As camera panned at the bottom of ship, he could not hide his amusement as he read “Made in China” written at the bottom.
Tomorrow will be historic because for the first time in human history, four humans will be sent on self sustainable ship to explore the universe and unveil its secret. This is the story of those four significant ones.

Faith

Faith is the Kajal mark put by your mother behind your ear to protect you from all evil eyes, or faith is the belief in baby’s smile in your catching ability when you throw him in the air and faith is the Nimbu-Mirchi mala hanging over your dashboard in your new car to keep it running in spite of all mechanical engineering.

For me faith was everything at one stage, it was my life, it was my struggle and my reason to live. It is hard to imagine how I felt when my doctor told me I had cancer. Even though I knew he might say that, but I wished he wouldn’t. Exactly at that moment my whole life shattered in front of me. I stood there, trembling in tears, shaking my head in disbelief and asking myself why me. I remember weeping on mother’s shoulder for hours. Doctor told me to be strong but I did not know how to be strong when there was no strength left in me. I did not know how to think forward, for me there was no past and there was no future, present was all I had. It was a feeling I had never felt before, a feeling of total detachment and realization how precious every moment is. Before leaving for TMH (Tata Memorial Hospital), I spent night just watching stars and crying alone on hostel roof. The day I left IIT for TMH, I hugged each one of my friends as if I was never going to see them again. I was never so close to them before.

I saw mother crying many times behind my back. She used to tell me everything is going to be fine, but I knew it was the only false hope which kept us going. Sometimes we both would just sit and cry and after a while she will wipe my tears and hug me so tightly that I knew there is nothing she would not do to help me. I could not sleep unless my head was in her lap and she was holding my hand. Sometimes few drops of tears would trickle down her cheek and fall on mine and I would not respond as if I did not notice that she was crying.

I found hope and strength at most unusual place, a world where life was lived in moments and a few moments they had left. From outside a cancer ward might seem a place of tiered bodies, but if watched closely it is a place with alive souls. TMH cancer ward was like a big family, a family with shared history and suffering; a relation stronger than anything. They taught me life is about living it. Real happiness in life comes from sharing moments with your loved ones. You have to live every moment to its full potential. Every moment enjoyed is a success. We used to celebrate each other’s moments and share every bodies sorrow. In the evening we all will pray together for well being of everybody and thank God for that day which we were able to share with other. We will plan for future events as if everything is fine, to keep the hope alive for a tomorrow. To us “Tomorrow” mattered and we knew its value. For us tomorrow was hope, tomorrow was life, and tomorrow was everything we had.

My stay at TMH ward gave me strength to look forward to tomorrow. I decided try not to worry about what is going to happen but to do best I can, with my remaining life. I started reading about cures and success rate. I started writing my diary again. I called everyone whom I had been rude and apologized for my behavior. I am not a hard believer in God. But I had lots of spare time which I needed to fill to keep me occupied. I started going to a close by temple. May be there was no purpose to it, or may be it was my faith that I had done nothing wrong and so God will not do wrong with me.

For me faith is hope, ray of light in complete darkness and strength to fight unbeatable. When you have nothing to hold on and whole world is sinking around you, you need a reason to believe that everything is going to be fine. Without that ray of hope you will only sink.

I do not know whether there is God or not, but for me there was God. He kept my faith alive and after 3 months of intense observation TMH told me I was found negative for cancer. Doctor hugged me and said that he can not imagine what I have been through and he was sorry for that. I almost cried in front of doctor.

I still remember when I got back to IIT, first person I saw was Abhishek and I hugged him for at least 5 minutes and none of us wanted to let it go. For me, it was rebirth. I still have mental scars from the incident and sometimes they haunt me. After the incident, I was highly depressed for 6 months. Doctors said it was natural to go under depression after such incidents. But it made the person who I am now; a sensitive, thinking man.

Joke

Read somewhere.

A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball bat."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again...."

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 3 #

Chapter 4: What Future Holds

So far I have been trying to delay “money transfer” as long as I can, but further stalling may result in end of communication as he might guess my intentions. Apart from that, his lectures on urgency have started to creep me out.  You guys are lucky that you only get to read good stuff; I am the one who has to bear “fundas of Islam” and his repetitive reminder of money transfer like a broken CD, stuck at a note. This is perfect time to end this conversation on high note.

After giving it much thought, I have decided to end it following way.

# Even if he sends me any mail before coming Wednesday (September 8, 2012), I have decided not to reply. I am expecting him to send me an e-mail on Tuesday again reminding that I have to send rest of 400$ USD on Wednesday. #

Wednesday

from: Anand Mishra 
to: Immigration Malaysia
date: Wed, August 28, 2012
subject: VISA Processing fee transferred

Dear Sir,
Thanks for your help and patience. I always knew, Muslim brothers will always look after me. I can not say how much you have touched my heart. I never believed that anyone will come forward to this extent to offer help, to a complete stranger, and this has strengthened my faith in humanity. This year I will go to Hajj and free two white pigeons to show my revived faith in humanity.

As you had suggested in your earlier mails, I have transferred 400$ USD to the following account through Western union money transfer.
Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Immigration Department of Malaysia
Level 1-7 (Pondium) Block 2G4 Precint
Malaysia

MTCN for the transfer is 911-420- 9211. Usually money transfer is instantaneous with Western Union, but there might be delay in money transfer as there is 2.5 hours time difference between Malaysia and India. Kindly collect money after 2.5 hours as you would be on the same time as ours and finalize Visa process as quickly as possible.

Sir, my mother has already bought a chicken which we will eat the day I receive confirmation of my Visa.

Regards
Anand Mishra

$ Did you notice MTCN no? Call Police - A fraud – Running away with money. $

# He will laugh at my foolishness for a while and then will go for a stroll to collect money. He will argue with Western Union guy for a while only to realize that there is no money transferred to his name. Frustrated, he will write me again that money has not been transferred and I need to check at my end. I will not reply for another 2 days to frustrate him more. On Friday I will send him a final mail. #

Friday

from: Anand Mishra 
to: Immigration Malaysia, CALTEX Malaysia
date: Fri, August 30, 2010
subject: VISA Processing fee transferred

Hi Bros,
You called me brother once, so I will give you a free suggestion. If you want to save your ass then go underground for a while as Malaysian police is coming after you. I have been in regular contact with Malaysian cyber crime branch and sharing your mails with them. They were very intrigued with the offer and one of the officers actually wants to join your firm.

You guys are dumb bastards. I hinted you in the previous mail. My MTCN no was “Police coming-you frauds-run”. Anyways I had fun chatting with you guys. Do you remember the 5 pillars? You both can share the pillars and stick up your a**. Wait I believe you both are the same person, it is even better, at least now you won’t have fight who gets 3.

Hope you both rotten in Malaysian jail.

Anand Mishra

PS:
I never thought someone will have courage to run through my marathon second post. But, thanks to Divesh and Sumit who showed interest and gave me courage to write the final chapter. I hope you all really enjoyed it. Do not forget to write your honest comments.

I am planning to shift from lighter side to serious posts. I still have to write about my trip to India. Further plans are to ponder about faith and religion. A few posts on hope and then come back to satire.

15 August

तारीख : १५ August
नाम: समीर
उम्र: २१ साल
पेशा: Student, Undergraduate, Engineering
कल ही रात समीर ने एक धाँसू सा ब्लॉग लिखा था, "India at age 64: Reflection and Future ahead". Posting के एक घंटे के अंदर २० comments और ३० Interesting reactions देखकर वो काफी खुश हुआ. Third year से उसने Blog लिखना शुरू किया था और पिछले एक साल में उसकी काफी बड़ी following हो गयी थी. Final year का ज्यादा समय तो बाहर की Universities में apping करने में और Foreign की companies में apply करने में चला जाता है, पर फिर भी समीर blog के लिए तो समय निकल ही लेता है. पोस्ट में उसने politicians , naxals , media , Pakistan , Kalmadi सबकी ऐसी की तैसी कर डाली थी. पर readers को तो उसके post का second half बहुत भाया था जिसमे उसने जताया था की कैसे हम सब की जिम्मेदारी बनती है India के विकास में. Paying tax, voting for right candidate, community work, active participation in politics जैसे कर्तव्य सभी के इमानदारी से निभाने से ही India उन्नती कर सकेगा. खैर हमें उसकी post से क्या लेना देना.
आज वह रोज की तरह १० बजे जागेगा और  फिर चारो तरफ बजते देशभक्ति संगीत उसे याद दिलाएंगे की आज या तो २६ January है या फिर १५ August है. PC sharing से ४-५ देशभक्ति गाने download करके winamp पर enqueue कर देगा. करीब १२ बजे उसे एक बड़ी MNC से Job offer आने वाला है. ३ साल के contract पर उसे US में posting मिली है. समीर हमेशा US जाना चाहता था. आज शाम दोस्तों को जमकर party देगा और शायद उसकी अगली post US से होगी.

नाम: शर्मा जी 
उम्र: ४२ साल
पेशा: Government employee
पिछले १७ साल से शर्मा जी सरकार की सेवा में हैं पर उन्हें किसी चीज से सबसे ज्यादा खुन्नस है तो वो सरकार ही है. बढती महँगाई, ढलती उम्र और कुँवारी बेटी के बोझ को बस एक ही समय पूरी तरह भूल पाते हैं शर्मा जी, शाम की मित्र मंडली में. Politics का विषय छिड़ा नहीं कि शर्मा जी बोल पड़ते हैं, "साली, सारी सरकार चोर है. सारे नेता अपना pocket गर्म किये पड़े हैं, किसी को हमारी और देखने कि फुर्सत ही नहीं. कामचोर साले." यह अलग बात है कि शर्मा जी कभी vote डालने नहीं जाते, ऐसे भी उनके अकेले के vote से क्या फर्क पड़ेगा. 
जब भी कोई छुट्टी Sunday को पड़ती है, शर्मा जी का mood बिगड़ जाता है. शर्मा जी ने चाय पीते हुए TV on किया. शर्मा जी कभी भी budget session और स्वतंत्रता दिवस की झाँकी देखना नहीं भूलते. Prime Minister के भाषण शुरू होते ही उन्होंने TV switch off कर दिया, "चोर साले".

नाम: छोटू
उम्र: १७ साल
पेशा: चाय वाला
अगर आपने छोटू की स्पेशल चाय नहीं पीयी तो समझो आपने चाय नहीं पीयी कभी. Politics के अखाड़े से Bollywood की रंगीनियों तक, सब पर मंत्रणा होती है उसकी दुकान पर. अपने शर्मा जी छोटू की general चाय के regular customer हैं. छोटू ने कितनी बार चिकोटी लेते हुए शर्मा जी से कहा कि साहेब आज तो स्पेशल चाय पी लो, आज स्मार्ट लग रहे हो. शर्मा जी खीजते हुए कहते हैं, " इसी चाय को स्पेशल चाय कहकर ऊँचे दाम पर बेचता है, चोर कहींका." 
आज छोटू बहुत खुश है. चूल्हे के बगल में एक रूपये का तिरंगा उसने खोस रखा है. सवेरे से रेडिओ full volume पर लोकल FM से प्रसारित देशभक्ति गाना बजा रहा है, और छोटू पूरे मान से लता का साथ दे रहा है. उसकी निगाहें लगातार सामने से गुजरती Public schools की प्रभात फेरी पर जमी हैं. उसे school dress में बच्चे बहुत अछे लगते हैं. जब कोई teacher कतार तोड़ने वाले बच्चे की कान मरोरड़ता है तो छोटू बरबस मुस्कुरा पड़ता है. कारण उसे नहीं पता, पर आज वो खुश है.

"छोटू आज स्पेशल चाय लाना", शर्मा जी पहली बार प्रसन्नचित मुद्रा में थे.
"क्या बात है साहेब, आज बड़े खुश हो."
 "बेटे समीर की job US में लगी है. लगता है सरकारी engineering college में भी पढाई अच्छी ही होती है." आज उन्हें सरकार से कोई रोष नहीं था.
"आप तो स्पेशल चाय पीयो वो भी general चाय के दाम में."

आज सभी खुश हैं. हम, आप, समीर, शर्मा जी और छोटू. इस देश ने सभी को कुछ ना कुछ दिया है. क्या हम कभी इसका कर्ज उतर पाएँगे?

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 2 #

Chapter 3: No one messes with ME!!

I hope by now you are familiar with the characters. Just to jog your memory:

Anand Mishra
Myself

Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali
Employment Processing Manager
Caltex Oil Malaysia Limited
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Malaysian Immigration

Note:
Only parts of e-mails are produced here to save you from boring parts. Read comments as well, as they will fill you in about missing details.

#           #   ~ Comments used in place of e-mail
$           $   ~ General comments

So, once it was established that someone was trying to dupe me, I planned to get back to them. Idea was to give them false hope that I am really interested in what they have offered and somehow stall them and make them work for it. I was busy getting back to my normal life in Australia so I could not reply their emails. They grew impatient and then they sent me twice the copy of contract again. They even sent me 3 sms “Check your e-mail and do the needful. Caltex Oil”. There urgency was motivating for me.
To keep them involved and present myself as potential Bakra I asked immigration guy (Razak) to start the process copying mail to Rahman Ali. Below is the response.

from: Immigration Malaysia
to: Anand Mishra
date: Mon, Jul 12, 2012 at 8:16 PM
subject: VISA and Work Permit Processing   

Dear Anand Mohan Mishra,
We have also been contacted by Your Employer CALTEX OIL COMPANY regarding your request. We are willing to help you process the Visa and Work Permit and all other relevant documentations you may need to do in order to live and work successfully here in Malaysia.

We need some more details from you in order to proceed with the Visa and Working/Residence permit and other relevant documentations processing.

# Whole list of personal details like DOB, Age, Passport number etc. #

Please note that employee has is to take care of the following visa processing fee:
(a) Visa Application Fee = $323USD
(b) Commerce and Industry Fee = $329USD
(c) Foreign Affairs Fee = $328USD
Total fee to be paid = $980USD

The above Total Fee ($980USD) should be paid through western union money transfer which will be faster using the information below:

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Immigration Department of Malaysia
Level 1-7 (Pondium) Block 2G4 Precint
Malaysia

$ Isn’t he smart. Money through Western Union. Quick way to transfer money. What did you think of Visa fee? I have never seen any country charging these kinds of fees. $

Kindly furnish us with the above information so that we can start up the processing of your Documents. We will get the Visa and Work Permit and other relevant documents for you within One week of receipt of the processing fee from you. We are enclosing our Visa application form for you to fill and return.

Looking forward to serving you better.

Best Regards,

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Malaysian Immigration

$ Ya, that is not going to happen. $

# I did not reply for another couple of days. He sent me almost the same mail again. Even though he had sent me Visa application form, to piss him of, I sent him following e-mail. #

Dear Sir,
You did not attach Visa application form with last email and all this time I was waiting for you to send it. Kindly send the document so that we can expedite the process. I am concerned about the time constraint (20/8/10) and my worry is would I be able to finish the visa process before the desired date?
Regards
Anand

$ Trying to be genuine :) $

# He sent me an application form again. In the mean while I was keeping other guy busy by asking him lots of question on contract. Now I thought to bring some twist to the story. #

Anand Mishra to Caltex Malaysia
Date: Tue, Jul 20, 2012 at 8:18 AM

Dear Sir,
Following is the update on my visa process. I am in continuous conversation with Mr. Razak Badawi. For visa approval, processing fee of $980.00 USD is asked. Sir, I come from economically backward family and I will not be able to arrange the whole amount by myself. As days passes by I am also worried about the time constraint (20/8/10) before which I have to complete visa process. Sir, I have arranged $400.00 USD on my own and I still require another $580 USD for completing the process.

Sir, I believe all these expenses will be reimbursed within a week I join Caltex Malaysia. Along with that I will be given a month salary in advance as relocation amount. Sir is it possible to get $600.00 USD ahead and sent it to me, so that I can complete the visa process without delay. When I join the firm, it could be deducted from my reimbursement. I would be highly obliged if this help is provided to me. I have strong desire to work for Caltex and I do not want to miss the opportunity.

If it could not be arranged officially, I request you Sir, to kindly support me in this testing condition and I assure you to pay you back within a week of joining the firm. I would be highly obliged under your debt and will never forget your help in this testing condition.

If you give me kind consideration, my Western Union details are

Anand Mishra
14/A Bhoot Bangla, Pahadi Kuan
Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh
India

Eagerly waiting for some positive news.

Regards
Anand Mishra

$ At least I tried to get some money out of him. I knew exactly what his answer would be and it was as I had expected. $

Caltex Malaysia to Anand Mishra
Date: Tue, Jul 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Dear Anand Mohan Mishra‏,

I write to express my feelings to you. After going through your mail, I was deeply touched, more especially observing that you are a Muslim brother. INSHA ALLAH you will overcome the situation and join the leading team CALTEX.

$ What the hell. Religion card, well played bro. $

I want you to know that I have been helping you and I am ready to render more assistance to you but while doing that I should be mindful not to go against the five pillars of Islam because I am a Muslim who believes in the pillars.

$ What pillars he is talking about? $

However, because you are a Muslim brother, you have to send $480USD to Mr Razak Badawi while I will pay $500USD from my personal money on your behalf but you will refund me the money when you start work.

I will send the $500USD to Mr Razak Badawi of Malaysia immigration and also ask him to collection the balance of $480USD from you. You seem to be the first person that has really touched my heart to this extent.

I want you to evaluate the proposal and get back to me as quickly as possible. 

Regards,

Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali

$ How sweet of him. So, I was able to keep his interest in me. $

# After that, I thanked my Muslim bro. Both frauds conveyed to me that there was a “real money” transfer between them next day and ball was in my court now and Visa process will start as soon as I transfer rest of 480$. I was suggested to give matter adequate urgency. I kept silence for a couple of days. He again sent me a mail giving lesson on urgency. Actually I was busy with one of my projects at work, so could not reply him. Today I sent immigration guy another mail. #

Anand Mishra to Immigration
Date: Fri, Jul 23, 2012 at 7:28 AM

Dear Sir,
I am sorry for the delay in response. For last two days I was busy arranging money. I have asked bank to loan me money. Because of our huge population, usually queues are very long everywhere in India. It is very hot in India and lady behind me in the queue had a baby and it was crying all the time. I almost had to stand 4hrs in queue to reach the counter.  It was hard to convince the accountant to loan me money as I come from economically backward family. On top of that, you have to bribe accountant to get your loan sanctioned. Only after he saw my letter of employment and salary amount he agreed to sanction me loan. He has asked 15% of the loan upfront as bribe which I delivered him yesterday in the evening at his home. He has assured me that I will get money on next Tuesday.

Sir, I have two requests for you. First one is, as you have received 500$ USD from my HR Manager, is it possible to start visa process as it is getting late and I do not want to miss the beautiful opportunity to live in Malaysia. I will transfer you rest of the money on Wednesday through Western Union.

Second humble request is that, I did not know before today that you have to bribe the accountant to get your loan approved. It is a huge set back for me as they could only sanction 500$USD to me out of which I gave him 75$ USD as bribe. I will only effectively receive 425$ USD from bank. Being a Muslim brother, I request you to help me in this critical condition. INSHA ALLAH, Allah is watching us and he will repay you when you will go to heaven. Sir, if you could assist me by 80$USD which I will return within a week of joining, I will be highly obliged. I will never forget your help in this matter. I will transfer rest of the money on Wednesday.

I have filled the form but I am not able to find a scanner in my locality to scan it and return it back. Is it ok if I send you the soft copy of filled form?

Regards and waiting for your kind support.

Anand

$ I had fun writing this e-mail. $

# In his response he agreed to put 80$ from his pocket and wait for me to transfer rest 400$ to his account on coming Wednesday. And they say, there are no more nice people in the world. I had touched his heart again. #

Next Post
Chapter 4: What Future Holds
Future still holds a lot for our relationship. I have faint idea in mind how it is going to pan out, but we will see. Anybody wants to suggest something is welcome to comment.

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 1 #

All instances are real and thread of mails presented in this series is unaltered (original).
Genre: Crime, Thriller, Drama, Comedy. Just kidding. It is just another post.

Chapter 1: Selection

During my holidays I received an e-mail from Employment Processing Manager at Caltex Malaysia, Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali, seeking my interest in their job openings. Benefits included following
1. Five Bedroom Flat Duplex
2. Free Medical & Travel Insurance
3.10 Days Leave / Vacation after Every 90 Working Days
4. Flight Fares (Air Tickets)
5. Free Education Scheme to Expatriates Children/Family
6. Free Toyota Camry 2010 Model.

Perks were so great that without any delay I started pursuing the selection process. They asked me to send my credentials to them. I replied back with my cover letter and resume. I wrote a few lines on how I was pretty much born to work in Malaysia and especially in their firm. They asked me to fill a questionnaire which I did. Kanchan only knows how much trouble I went through to fill that form. I was attending my brother’s marriage and deadline was on the same day. I was in village and so, I had to dictate answers to Kanchan over phone (cost me close to Rs 70) and then he sent it to Caltex. I had to share my Gmail password with him and he get to know a few of my dirty secrets. Don’t you Kanchan?

After few more formalities, the day my holiday ended in India, I received an employment offer from them, almost unbeatable on all grounds. Employment offer came with benefits mentioned above and 9,500$ USD (after tax) as monthly salary. I had to sign the attached employment offer and send it to HR at Caltex. Time frame to complete visa process was 20/8/12 and all the expenditure was to be reimbursed within a week of joining Caltex.  To make visa process easy for me, they had given me contact details of Head of Operations at Malaysian Immigration, Mr Razak Badawi.

You must be thinking where is the story?

Chapter 2: Something is Fishy here

I did well in BARC interview and then this offer; it was like dream come true. I reached Australia in high spirits. Just at the back of my mind, something was bothering me. The question was how did they get my details? Is it too good to be real? First question was kind of irrelevant as long as I had positive answer for 2nd one. I remembered registering with their career site once, so I was more focussed on 2nd question. After chat with my flatmate Arjun in Australia, we decided to look for truth.

Little bit of research suggested that everything is fake. Both Mr Razak Badawi and Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali had e-mail address on free service provider @live.com. Usually big firms have there own e-mail account and for security reasons they do not use free service provider. So the trick was to delude candidates into getting visa and extract money as visa approval fee. I doubt that both were different person from the beginning.
I got fooled for a while, but when it comes to giving money to someone else, I an extra careful. It was time for revenge.

Next Post
Chapter 3: No one messes with ME!!

Next posts in this series will be thread of conversations between me and “My employer”. Story to abhi baaki hai mere dost.