"In U.P., it is easier to count number of stars in the sky than counting Mayawati’s statues."
In exciting news, recent survey done by NCP (National Commission on Population) has shown reduced fertility rate (nearly halved) in U.P. since Mayawati started erecting her own statues. Scientists are yet to confirm, but initial results show that significant loss in sexual appetite after even visualizing U.P. chief minister. Spokesperson of NCP, Nityanand Durachari, said in an interview, “It could be a major break through in the field of family planning. It seems like Mayawati’s erected statues have negative impact on other sorts of erection. Imagine what happens to a common man who is on a daily basis exposed to nearly hundreds of her statues. She is true “Behen Ji” unlike nurses who are called “Sisters” but everybody keeps drooling over them.” He continued further, “NCP is going to recommend it to Government and will encourage other states also to build her statues. We are also going to recommend hospitals to distribute her miniature statues along with condoms as a family planning initiative. NCP thinks it is excellent way of natural family planning.”
When chief minister was asked about it, she said that she had always national interest at heart. “I feel sad when huge number of U.P.ites are born every year just get beaten in Maharashtra. I did not want that for my kids and so I remain unmarried. Why else do you think I did not get married?” “U.P. is highest populated state in India. After discussing the issue with my advisers, we decided to divide U.P. in 5 separate states, so that population of U.P. becomes less. But central Government would not understand such easy fixes.” said Mayawati.
“Now I am thinking global. This year I went “green” by accepting multicrore garland made of notes. I did not want my followers to pluck flowers.” “Somebody told me that tree pulp is used for making notes. I suggest my followers to make a “check” (bank) garland next year, so that I can capture all their love by damaging environment least”.
“India has a tradition of molesting poor dalits, so I was targeted by Supreme Court. Now, nobody from SC will comment on the findings. I can only say, in your face SC.” and Mayawati left to cut a 52 kg cake made especially for her birthday.
