Monday, July 23, 2012

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 1 #

All instances are real and thread of mails presented in this series is unaltered (original).
Genre: Crime, Thriller, Drama, Comedy. Just kidding. It is just another post.

Chapter 1: Selection

During my holidays I received an e-mail from Employment Processing Manager at Caltex Malaysia, Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali, seeking my interest in their job openings. Benefits included following
1. Five Bedroom Flat Duplex
2. Free Medical & Travel Insurance
3.10 Days Leave / Vacation after Every 90 Working Days
4. Flight Fares (Air Tickets)
5. Free Education Scheme to Expatriates Children/Family
6. Free Toyota Camry 2010 Model.

Perks were so great that without any delay I started pursuing the selection process. They asked me to send my credentials to them. I replied back with my cover letter and resume. I wrote a few lines on how I was pretty much born to work in Malaysia and especially in their firm. They asked me to fill a questionnaire which I did. Kanchan only knows how much trouble I went through to fill that form. I was attending my brother’s marriage and deadline was on the same day. I was in village and so, I had to dictate answers to Kanchan over phone (cost me close to Rs 70) and then he sent it to Caltex. I had to share my Gmail password with him and he get to know a few of my dirty secrets. Don’t you Kanchan?

After few more formalities, the day my holiday ended in India, I received an employment offer from them, almost unbeatable on all grounds. Employment offer came with benefits mentioned above and 9,500$ USD (after tax) as monthly salary. I had to sign the attached employment offer and send it to HR at Caltex. Time frame to complete visa process was 20/8/12 and all the expenditure was to be reimbursed within a week of joining Caltex.  To make visa process easy for me, they had given me contact details of Head of Operations at Malaysian Immigration, Mr Razak Badawi.

You must be thinking where is the story?

Chapter 2: Something is Fishy here

I did well in BARC interview and then this offer; it was like dream come true. I reached Australia in high spirits. Just at the back of my mind, something was bothering me. The question was how did they get my details? Is it too good to be real? First question was kind of irrelevant as long as I had positive answer for 2nd one. I remembered registering with their career site once, so I was more focussed on 2nd question. After chat with my flatmate Arjun in Australia, we decided to look for truth.

Little bit of research suggested that everything is fake. Both Mr Razak Badawi and Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali had e-mail address on free service provider @live.com. Usually big firms have there own e-mail account and for security reasons they do not use free service provider. So the trick was to delude candidates into getting visa and extract money as visa approval fee. I doubt that both were different person from the beginning.
I got fooled for a while, but when it comes to giving money to someone else, I an extra careful. It was time for revenge.

Next Post
Chapter 3: No one messes with ME!!
Next posts in this series will be thread of conversations between me and “My employer”. Story to abhi baaki hai mere dost.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

For Her

This will be my last post for a long time, so I thought I should write something meaningful. This is for the light which made my world illuminated.

I asked her, “What do you see in me?” She said, “Everything”.

I liked her even before I had seen her. She is a child, a guide, a precious stone, a beautiful princess and someone who loved me unconditionally. She is innocent like a child and will complain about the whole world in the evening. Fir sure I know she does not like if queue would not move fast or airtel will send her a caller tune or someone who would not give seat to a old lady. She has a beautiful smile, expressive eyes, strong character and solid confidence. I like her because I want to see those eyes everyday, so innocent and so pure. Every expression feels like pure drops of dew on the grass blade. I like her because she could hear my gibberish intently for hours. I like her because she is imaginative.

When I met her first time, she was sorry. She had a flower basket in her one hand and ear in the other. She was sorry because she was late as she wanted to pick some flowers for me. All my frustration of wait vanished as soon as I saw her eyes. Her eyes were so expressive that I could tell she was really sorry. She has very beautiful eyes. You can see all her expressions through her eyes. Her eyes told me how happy she was to see me and how sad she was when I left her.

Someone ones told me never hurt a person who loves you, but the irony is we usually hurt then whom we love most. At the moment she is angry with me. She has all the right reasons to be angry. She may not come back but I will wait for her, as long as I can. All I have to do is keep hope.

P.S. I Love you

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Blank Pages

A life is counted by moments, not by years.
Today was one of those days when I feel nothing, nothing at all, a total numbness. I feel so numb that I can hear silence in my head. These are the days when I question my existence. Each of these days is like a blank page in my diary, a page for which no one cares whether it is there or not. If I tear off all these blank pages from the dairy, I will be left with pages I have truly lived.

Today I want to feel pain, a shear pain which will wake me up from this numbness. No one feels more alive than a man out of breath swimming for shore. He knows he exists and he fights for it. Today I am not sure whether I will fight for my existence or not because I am unsure about my own existence.

Every week when I call my mother, she would ask me about what happened last week? Every time my answer would be “Nothing”. For a long time nothing has happened to my life. It is just stagnant. May be I am numb because I am stagnant.

What makes us feel alive? Why do you work – to live next day; what will you do tomorrow - work again to live next day. Are we living today just to live tomorrow? Is the whole point of living now come down to “just living” or “sustaining tomorrow”. When did we stopped living and started filling diaries with blank pages. I do not want to look back in 40 years and say all I did was survived last 40 years.

I am sorry, I am just too depressed.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Earth First

So sad but so true.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Live free and die Hard

Nearly 4 years ago, I had serious health problem which almost cost me my life. My duress almost run for 6 months and when I was given clean chit from doctors I was so relieved that I felt reborn.

"Rahiman vipda ho bhali, jo thode din hoye,
hit, unhit ya jagat me , jaani parat sab koye."

You can not imagine how being in such a situation where you can see your death inching towards you, can give you a totally different prospective of life. Every thing changes; your priorities, what you want from your life and what makes you really happy, and 6 month was long time to rethink every thing.
When whole thing was over, I sat and said to my self, “This is my new life, and I will not mess it up again.” I kind of made my “Bucket List”. After almost 4 years of the incident when I review my bucket list I find nothing has changed. I am still living in the shadow of my old self and it feels like my new self is dying again.  All the gratitude and joy of getting my life back has died under the burden of social responsibilities and materialistic issues. I have everything to gain in this life and I should not let it go, after all everybody does not get second chance. Today I promise myself that now onwards I will live every moment as I want to.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Beyond obvious lies deserted dreams


Sometimes I wonder the allure of Indian economic progress is anything more than an attractive trailer of a poor comedy movie, where you are lured in the movie hoping it to be good only to find the only comic scene was in the trailer; rest is just stale old tale. 

Few things we must be proud of, even in this economic crisis we managed to pull above 8% GDP growth where rest of the world reeled under the massive economic crisis (only exception to China). While in coming future, Europe and US is supposed to face a severe economic uncertainty, we can safely say that India will still grow over 7%. Few more things which our PM or Government never forget to mention that India is becoming a superpower with major geopolitical influence. To be frank it fills my heart with pride, if these will not then what else would. Recession is only because India is growing and with economic growth it is inevitable. So recession is also a sign of growing Indian prosperity. There are always a few words in all speeches and plans which make you think Government has genuine concern for all of us; inclusive growth, equitable, social justice, poverty alleviation etc. 

If you liked the trailer, believe me you are not going to like the movie.  It never has been a happy ever after movie after the Indian independence. Things have changed and now the way we are taught and primed to think has fogged our eye sight where we are unable to see beyond the alluring trailer. 

Let us start with some blatant facts. India ranks 134 in Human Development Index (HDI) out of 187 countries (UN development council releases the statistics).  Just to give a prospective, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh are better placed than us. Last year India was at 119th position. Pakistan, Bangladesh and Srilanka do better than us in gender equality. 

According to most conservative, pro government Tendulkar committees report, India has poor population of 37% (more than one third). Just to point out Tendulkar committee report was the basis for government to decide Rs. 32 and Rs. 25 for BPL which we all know shows how divorced our government is from reality. Even based on this report India has now more poor people than its total population at the time of independence. That says a great deal of great Indian dream.
However if we go by National Smaple Survey data (collected by Government), this percentage is 76% in rural areas and 68% in urban areas. This data is based on how many people can not afford to meet their basic nutritional requirement. One more interesting fact I would like to point out the aim of Tendulkar committee was to show that overall percentage of poverty has decreased, so basically they reduced the BPL to an absurd value to meet the desired. 

Recent death of more than 450 children (who also were found to be severely malnourished) this year in UP alone within 4 months due to encephalitis tells a grieving story of negligence. This is a recurring occurrence in state and still apathy towards it from either state or central government is deplorable.

Maharshtra which boasts highest GDP in the country (and Mukesh Ambani’s pride 600 room house) has topped in the farmer suicide chart by 15,964 deaths in last 15 year time. Staggering total of 256,913 farmers’ suicide in India in last 15 years. The data is from government agency. 

India has maximum number of people, nearly 57% of whole world’s population, who do not have proper sanitation facility and who defecate in open. Again this is UN data.

!3% of child population in urban area spends their childhood in slums. 

We can pile more data, but the point is the country where more than 70% people can not afford to reach their nutritional value how justified is our obsession with GDP. What does economic powerhouse and target growth of 9% in 12th plan, mean to those people who commit suicide? Isn’t inclusion of social equality, economic justice, parity and equity a mere farce? My ire is not against the condition but the negligence to take corrective action. 

Mary Parker Follet had said that, “Home of my soul is in the state”. This is one the most poetic line I have read in my life. This means I am so integrated in the state that state represents me and I represent the state. Can 70% population who can not feed themselves, farmers committing suicide and many more say the same thing for our Indian government? She says it is only possible in participative democracy. Just to give you feel how did you feel when Anna was agitating? Did you not feel that through Anna a part of you was heard and you were part of system? That same feeling do you feel on any other day? Do protesters at Kundankulam feel the same way? Does Iromila Sharma feel the same way? Why do we feel that psychological alienation from our own government? The answer lies in the fact that you will only feel that integration when soul of state also lies in you. 

In a line Burns had summarized it, “In representative democracy, liberty of individual vanishes in ballot box in 2 seconds, after which people consume others politics." We have been consuming others politics for long. Sadly our state’s heart lies in those billionaires dream that see death through poverty a natural cleaning process of social evolution. Policies are not made to equitable growth rather for enhancing capital market policy which naturally breeds disparity and where poverty is not natural a phenomenon.

I will start with neo-liberalism or so called our PM Manmohan Singh’s great economic reform. The fact is it was not a brainchild of Manmohan singh, it was simply a forced coercion of IMF which we had to follow due to some unavoidable reasons. NO, he did not have a great innovative dream. So our puppet should stop taking credit for the economic changes he had to introduce. From the day one we were made to believe that it is an economic reform while social agitation like Occupy Wall Street would beg to differ. Since the introduction of neo liberalism the disparity has increased many folds and will continue to widen. I am not against free competition but at least people should have a similar base to start with. Do you not feel that a farmer’s son had inherent disadvantage in competition as compared to a well to do family’s kin? Is it a fare competition at all? Without proper basic education, nutrition, health facility, drinking facility, electricity or even sanitation how he is supposed to compete in this world? The question is if government is promoting free competition then whose responsibility is to provide equal chance? And if government had failed in providing these due to any reason (say corruption) then whose accountability is it? Should not government be more accountable and stop playing interdepartmental or state-centre blame game and for once take some stringent action? Have you realized in only last 20 years all millionaires and billionaires have popped up?  Do you know India’s GDP is primarily driven by domestic consumption and NOT by export as envisioned earlier, otherwise we wouldn’t have such big current account deficit.  This is the only reason why we did not feel that much slowdown in economic recession.

12th 5 year plan envisages a public private partnership (PPP). It promotes corporatization of lands. For many of us land today means an investment, capital and housing needs, but not for 70% population who still see it as source of livelihood, social justice, food security, sustenance and matter of dignity. By corporatization, marginal land owners will again be reduced to feeble daily wage workers while private corporate will mint money. It will simply increase the availability of daily wage workers who will be exploited at the will of private sector.  Was not this the reason in the first place why land reforms were introduced and jamindari was abolished? We all know how land accusation in UP has angered farmers due to inadequate, forcible accusations by state itself. Later all those property are sold to real estate agents who makes extravagant profit while farmers are paid marginally.  It would not be harsh to say that government forgot our farmers after 2nd 5 year plan. Farming still provides livelihood to 55% of people.

Let us talk about some government mindset. Government has failed to address critical issues of labors in organized and unorganized sector. Liberal, corporate oriented labor mindset has resulted in exploitation of people working in these sectors. To make market look lucrative Government has made weak laws which enables corporate (MNC) to exploit employees. How sad is it that MNC’s do not give holidays on Indian Independence Day but it gives holiday on American day. Unless a country respects its people, MNCs will keep treating Indian human resource as expendables. The comparison of safety standard followed by same MNC in India and in western country should be enough to validate my point. Weak nuclear liability bill is nothing but a simple manifestation of it.

Planned privatization of education and health sector will not realize in empowerment of people. This is simply because when goals at the heart of policy formulation lie in maximization of profit, it will never result in welfare. In most of the developed country health has been public (governmental) concern. If government is serious about providing health service then it should take serious substantial step to achieve it. Without the lack of political will, every policy will be a failure.

I will touch a bit on AFSPA (Armed force special power act) which is operational in J&K and North East. As many of us profess strong law is necessary but they must remember what is even more important is strong accountability. Our laws have weak accountability so in case of failure, we argue we require a strong law. If accountability is proper probably we will not require strong laws. To mask our failure we enact these draconian laws. Strong laws should go with strong safeguards too, otherwise nearly 1700 unidentified bodies in J&K would not have happened where army has authority to shoot at will without any consequence.

The question I would like to raise, can you see beyond the fog where people are in distress and any % of GDP means nothing to them, or bailout of Kingfisher Airlines (arrogant SOB) is our priority.  Government must remember it is simply an instrument to achieve people’s goal, it is not an end itself.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Losers will Smile

I used to be skinny in my childhood. Worst part of being skinny is that you can not afford to pick up a fight as no one but you will be on the receiving end. So, even if somebody used to hit me, I would never respond back. My best way of taking revenge was to take the matter to the higher courts. Teachers used to praise me, because they used to think I am practicing Gandhigiri.
After my 10th board examination, I started gaining weight. I was very happy. When I realized I was skinny no more, I intentionally picked up a fight with the skinniest guy in my class. What happened is history but I came to two conclusions, never pick up a fight with a skinny cricketer when he has cricket bat in his hand and humiliation is more when you get beaten up by a skinny friend.

Recently I realized that I have started to grow again and I can feel it. My clothes are tight and I feel bigger. For past ten months, I am in Australia and I believe it has something to do with my growth. In a month I am going back to India and I can’t go like this. I have to stop growing, but question is how? So, I did little research on Google. I believe after some years all the laboratories in IITs will be closed and all the researches will be conducted on Google. Result suggested that it has something to do with my eating habits and not living an active lifestyle. What non sense, I have been eating well, chicken wings in the breakfast, fish and chips for lunch, chips in the evening and six rotis with sabji in the dinner. Going little out of context, in Australia they sell awesome candy bars. You get so many different kinds of candy bars that even daily I eat 5 or 6 different types of candy bars; still I have not tested all of them. When I talked to gym instructor at work about it, he asked me “Do you cook or you do take away?” I told him off course I cook (I am pretty sure he was talking about dinner, though he never mentioned it). He seemed surprised and told me that people generally put weight on when they mostly do take away.
With one reason out, it only leaves my “not so active” lifestyle as the reason. I did some more research on “Google” on what is active lifestyle. It suggested that 1,000 steps a day is considered as an active lifestyle. I bought a pedometer next day and tied it to my shoes in the morning. In the evening the count was 2,173, so I am leading an active lifestyle. While I was putting pedometer back in the case, I saw 10,000 steps written on the case. Thinking, it must be for athletes, I searched in Google again. What the fu**, last time I missed a zero at the end, 10,000 steps for active lifestyle and my count was 2,173 only.

I still believe that I am not overweight; I am just “Healthy”. I need to tone down a bit so that I am considered healthy and not “Healthy”. From tomorrow onwards, I will do exercise, eat less, inhibit my temptation for chocolates and in the end will emerge as a “Loser”. Today is the last day of uninhibited quest, so let me test 10 chocolates today.