Papa

Re posted: because I know, he must have cried today.

पिताजी की बात बेबात पर रोने की आदत है.  माँ कहती है की तुम्हारी चर्चा हो तो emotional हो जाते हैं, इसलिए रोते हैं. मैं कहता हूँ की ख़ुशी के मौके पर भी कोई इस तरह रोता है क्या ?

छुट्टियों में घर आया था और शाम को परिवार की मंडली जमी थी.

“लोग पूछते हैं कि, बेटा बाहर कमाता है, कुछ चुपका पैसा तुम को भी भेजता होगा?” मौका पाकर माँ मेरी टांग खीच रही थी.

“जब में पढाई कर रहा था तो सारा खर्चा पापाजी ही दिया करते थे. तुमने तो कभी चुपका 10 रुपया भी pocket money नहीं दिया.”

सब हँस रहे थे और पापा आंसू पोछ रहे थे.

चाहे उन्होंने मेरे IIT में qualify करने की खबर सुनी हो या graduation convocation के बाद मैंने उनके पैर लगे हों या फिर किसी ने चाय पर मेरी बड़ाई कर दी हो, वो हर बार रोये हैं.

उन्होंने कभी मुझे गले से नहीं लगाया. कभी मुझसे नहीं कहा की “तुम पर नाज है”. माँ तो हर बार लम्बी सी झप्पी देती है. फिर पापा क्यों नहीं? माँ कहती है उनको प्यार जताने का बस यही तरीका आता है.

"Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 217A to Melbourne. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately five minutes time. Thank you."

Announcement ख़त्म होने तक पापा उलटी दिशा में मुड़ चुके थे. मैंने backpack कंधे पर डाला और मम्मी के पैर छूआ. सीधे होते ही मम्मी ने बड़ी सी झप्पी दी, और पापा जी को खीच कर मेरे पास लायी. आँखों से बड़े - बड़े आंसू बिना आवाज के ढलक रहे थे. कोई इतने भी आंसू बहता है क्या?

Grandmother

I do not know whether people go to heaven after death or not, for me, as long as you remember me after my death, I will be in heaven.

As far as my memory goes, I have always seen her old, just like all other grandmothers. She does not grow like me or you. Her steps are getting smaller and skin getting bigger for her body by each passing day. She is my patronus charm against my angry mother, my piggy bank when father grounds my pocket money, my savior when my grandfather tries to sneak in bookish knowledge between his made-up stories, my equal partner in crimes and a true friend. She has silver in her hair, gold in her heart and most nerdy looking glasses on her eyes. She is my lovely grandmother.

She is full of stories, the kind which you do not find in books. She will tell me stories about ojhas catching ghosts, kul nag devta drinking milk, dead villagers still living on village neem tree and then she will walk me to the toilet because I was too scared. She makes me believe in witches, fairies and God. She offers ladoo in her prayers as she knows I love them.

We both had weakness for sweets and so whenever we will go to the market, she will buy sweets. Later she will fudge expenditure on the goods to make up for the sweets, but as she was not good at mathematics, she will end up reporting more than she was given in the first place with still few rupees to spare. Once I learned addition, there wasn’t any further calculation hiccups. 

My grandfather loves teaching kids and my both parents are teacher, so all together they orchestra a nightmare for a kid like me. So, she was the coolest one with no discipline around her.  She could feel the heat when I pretend to be sick for school. She would announce lunch time as soon as she sees me getting bored with studies.

Past few years have been hard on her. Her vision and hearing is deteriorating by the day. She could hardly understand anyone on mobile. Still, she grabs the mobile whenever she learns I am calling and will try her best to understand what I am saying. During last call she said that she misses me much and wants to see me. She can not hear me anymore but still wants me to call her every week. She has saved some money to buy sweets for both of us. She wants me to buy her a nice saree from my salary and she wants to wear it during my marriage.

She died last month. She did not give me enough time to even make my next call. I was not there when she died. I am sure she would have liked me to be there by her side. I miss my friend a lot.

Is Chaman Mein Bhi Bahar Aani Chahiye

I distinctly remember those days back in the school, when one of my friends has a peculiar habit of counting the number of bald people crossing us on our way home. At that point I thought what a weird habit. But now I have developed the similar habit. I count the number of people having less hair than me. Luckily for me, the number from old times has increased considerably, giving me lots of false confidence.

There was a time when I had dense forest on my head and combing my entangled curly hair was a painful job. I used to love to see falling flocks of hair on the ground when barber used to cut my hair. I used to dream to shave my whole head so that I could feel exact size of my skull. And now I am living the dream. I get to shave my head even if I don't want to, and interpolation of past data shows that this dream is soon going to end and one day I will wake up with all my hairs gone.

I try hard to forget all about my hair, but there are some, who always remind me that I am losing my hair at a rapid rate. I can not believe, people can be so insensitive. And, I absolutely hate it when people say "Why don't you do something", as if I have left any stone unturned to fulfill my heartily desire of growing my hairs back. I have only one thing to say to them, tell me the solution (Which can actually work) or shut up. Sometimes I stand in front of mirror and go back in time to grow my hair back again; stand bewitched, but as someone said reality bites.

Not that going bald doesn't have its benefits. According to some of my well wishers, I don't have to spend on Shampoo or any other hair products. It even saves from trouble of combing. Just smear little oil and you are ready, shiny and sparkling. People always think that I have already taken the bath even though I had just woken up. The biggest advantage is added seniority to my looks which automatically brings respect in the workplace. My best friends from college Pratap, Gour and Mishra are also losing hairs at a very fast rate. According to some magazine, “Bald” is going to be the next Fashion. Very optimistic huh....

Remember the proverb "Grapes are sour, they really are."- who needs hair. So I hate hair on my head. Who am I kidding..... :(. I absolutely adore them. Today I swore to follow on the ultimate quest to get my hair back. Only if someone could give me Harsh Bhogle’s contact number, it would be much easier. Until my quest is complete, I will have to make peace with the reality- Deforestation is a big problem for the world at large and especially for my head.

6.2.1

Here I am, after 6 months being in love, 2 months of unconscious break up and 1 month after breakup. I would not say I am completely back, but have recovered enough to look forward. This post is to put a full stop to everything happened in last 9 months and an outset of a new beginning. 

I still feel a bit hurt, just on the left side of the chest, and still can not watch corny Bollywood love stories, but I am doing more than fine. Once again my mind has taken command over the heart, and my heart is beating for the sole purpose to pump blood only, nothing else. I am purging all the memories I have of her and only souvenirs I am left with is a diary, a key ring and a smiley clip. 

I still feel she was a nice person, but too stubborn. I am thankful to her for fine memories and will always think of her as a good friend. 

Anyways, a lot is left to achieve in this life and I going to try my luck in some of these opportunities. I have to be strong and focused and beware of diversions. For sure, it is going to be hell of a ride.

Faith

Faith is the Kajal mark put by your mother behind your ear to protect you from all evil eyes, or faith is the belief in baby’s smile in your catching ability when you throw him in the air and faith is the Nimbu-Mirchi mala hanging over your dashboard in your new car to keep it running in spite of all mechanical engineering.

For me faith was everything at one stage, it was my life, it was my struggle and my reason to live. It is hard to imagine how I felt when my doctor told me I had cancer. Even though I knew he might say that, but I wished he wouldn’t. Exactly at that moment my whole life shattered in front of me. I stood there, trembling in tears, shaking my head in disbelief and asking myself why me. I remember weeping on mother’s shoulder for hours. Doctor told me to be strong but I did not know how to be strong when there was no strength left in me. I did not know how to think forward, for me there was no past and there was no future, present was all I had. It was a feeling I had never felt before, a feeling of total detachment and realization how precious every moment is. Before leaving for TMH (Tata Memorial Hospital), I spent night just watching stars and crying alone on hostel roof. The day I left IIT for TMH, I hugged each one of my friends as if I was never going to see them again. I was never so close to them before.

I saw mother crying many times behind my back. She used to tell me everything is going to be fine, but I knew it was the only false hope which kept us going. Sometimes we both would just sit and cry and after a while she will wipe my tears and hug me so tightly that I knew there is nothing she would not do to help me. I could not sleep unless my head was in her lap and she was holding my hand. Sometimes few drops of tears would trickle down her cheek and fall on mine and I would not respond as if I did not notice that she was crying.

I found hope and strength at most unusual place, a world where life was lived in moments and a few moments they had left. From outside a cancer ward might seem a place of tiered bodies, but if watched closely it is a place with alive souls. TMH cancer ward was like a big family, a family with shared history and suffering; a relation stronger than anything. They taught me life is about living it. Real happiness in life comes from sharing moments with your loved ones. You have to live every moment to its full potential. Every moment enjoyed is a success. We used to celebrate each other’s moments and share every bodies sorrow. In the evening we all will pray together for well being of everybody and thank God for that day which we were able to share with other. We will plan for future events as if everything is fine, to keep the hope alive for a tomorrow. To us “Tomorrow” mattered and we knew its value. For us tomorrow was hope, tomorrow was life, and tomorrow was everything we had.

My stay at TMH ward gave me strength to look forward to tomorrow. I decided try not to worry about what is going to happen but to do best I can, with my remaining life. I started reading about cures and success rate. I started writing my diary again. I called everyone whom I had been rude and apologized for my behavior. I am not a hard believer in God. But I had lots of spare time which I needed to fill to keep me occupied. I started going to a close by temple. May be there was no purpose to it, or may be it was my faith that I had done nothing wrong and so God will not do wrong with me.

For me faith is hope, ray of light in complete darkness and strength to fight unbeatable. When you have nothing to hold on and whole world is sinking around you, you need a reason to believe that everything is going to be fine. Without that ray of hope you will only sink.

I do not know whether there is God or not, but for me there was God. He kept my faith alive and after 3 months of intense observation TMH told me I was found negative for cancer. Doctor hugged me and said that he can not imagine what I have been through and he was sorry for that. I almost cried in front of doctor.

I still remember when I got back to IIT, first person I saw was Abhishek and I hugged him for at least 5 minutes and none of us wanted to let it go. For me, it was rebirth. I still have mental scars from the incident and sometimes they haunt me. After the incident, I was highly depressed for 6 months. Doctors said it was natural to go under depression after such incidents. But it made the person who I am now; a sensitive, thinking man.

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 3 #

Chapter 4: What Future Holds

So far I have been trying to delay “money transfer” as long as I can, but further stalling may result in end of communication as he might guess my intentions. Apart from that, his lectures on urgency have started to creep me out.  You guys are lucky that you only get to read good stuff; I am the one who has to bear “fundas of Islam” and his repetitive reminder of money transfer like a broken CD, stuck at a note. This is perfect time to end this conversation on high note.

After giving it much thought, I have decided to end it following way.

# Even if he sends me any mail before coming Wednesday (September 8, 2012), I have decided not to reply. I am expecting him to send me an e-mail on Tuesday again reminding that I have to send rest of 400$ USD on Wednesday. #

Wednesday

from: Anand Mishra 
to: Immigration Malaysia
date: Wed, August 28, 2012
subject: VISA Processing fee transferred

Dear Sir,
Thanks for your help and patience. I always knew, Muslim brothers will always look after me. I can not say how much you have touched my heart. I never believed that anyone will come forward to this extent to offer help, to a complete stranger, and this has strengthened my faith in humanity. This year I will go to Hajj and free two white pigeons to show my revived faith in humanity.

As you had suggested in your earlier mails, I have transferred 400$ USD to the following account through Western union money transfer.
Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Immigration Department of Malaysia
Level 1-7 (Pondium) Block 2G4 Precint
Malaysia

MTCN for the transfer is 911-420- 9211. Usually money transfer is instantaneous with Western Union, but there might be delay in money transfer as there is 2.5 hours time difference between Malaysia and India. Kindly collect money after 2.5 hours as you would be on the same time as ours and finalize Visa process as quickly as possible.

Sir, my mother has already bought a chicken which we will eat the day I receive confirmation of my Visa.

Regards
Anand Mishra

$ Did you notice MTCN no? Call Police - A fraud – Running away with money. $

# He will laugh at my foolishness for a while and then will go for a stroll to collect money. He will argue with Western Union guy for a while only to realize that there is no money transferred to his name. Frustrated, he will write me again that money has not been transferred and I need to check at my end. I will not reply for another 2 days to frustrate him more. On Friday I will send him a final mail. #

Friday

from: Anand Mishra 
to: Immigration Malaysia, CALTEX Malaysia
date: Fri, August 30, 2010
subject: VISA Processing fee transferred

Hi Bros,
You called me brother once, so I will give you a free suggestion. If you want to save your ass then go underground for a while as Malaysian police is coming after you. I have been in regular contact with Malaysian cyber crime branch and sharing your mails with them. They were very intrigued with the offer and one of the officers actually wants to join your firm.

You guys are dumb bastards. I hinted you in the previous mail. My MTCN no was “Police coming-you frauds-run”. Anyways I had fun chatting with you guys. Do you remember the 5 pillars? You both can share the pillars and stick up your a**. Wait I believe you both are the same person, it is even better, at least now you won’t have fight who gets 3.

Hope you both rotten in Malaysian jail.

Anand Mishra

PS:
I never thought someone will have courage to run through my marathon second post. But, thanks to Divesh and Sumit who showed interest and gave me courage to write the final chapter. I hope you all really enjoyed it. Do not forget to write your honest comments.

I am planning to shift from lighter side to serious posts. I still have to write about my trip to India. Further plans are to ponder about faith and religion. A few posts on hope and then come back to satire.

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 2 #

Chapter 3: No one messes with ME!!

I hope by now you are familiar with the characters. Just to jog your memory:

Anand Mishra
Myself

Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali
Employment Processing Manager
Caltex Oil Malaysia Limited
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Malaysian Immigration

Note:
Only parts of e-mails are produced here to save you from boring parts. Read comments as well, as they will fill you in about missing details.

#           #   ~ Comments used in place of e-mail
$           $   ~ General comments

So, once it was established that someone was trying to dupe me, I planned to get back to them. Idea was to give them false hope that I am really interested in what they have offered and somehow stall them and make them work for it. I was busy getting back to my normal life in Australia so I could not reply their emails. They grew impatient and then they sent me twice the copy of contract again. They even sent me 3 sms “Check your e-mail and do the needful. Caltex Oil”. There urgency was motivating for me.
To keep them involved and present myself as potential Bakra I asked immigration guy (Razak) to start the process copying mail to Rahman Ali. Below is the response.

from: Immigration Malaysia
to: Anand Mishra
date: Mon, Jul 12, 2012 at 8:16 PM
subject: VISA and Work Permit Processing   

Dear Anand Mohan Mishra,
We have also been contacted by Your Employer CALTEX OIL COMPANY regarding your request. We are willing to help you process the Visa and Work Permit and all other relevant documentations you may need to do in order to live and work successfully here in Malaysia.

We need some more details from you in order to proceed with the Visa and Working/Residence permit and other relevant documentations processing.

# Whole list of personal details like DOB, Age, Passport number etc. #

Please note that employee has is to take care of the following visa processing fee:
(a) Visa Application Fee = $323USD
(b) Commerce and Industry Fee = $329USD
(c) Foreign Affairs Fee = $328USD
Total fee to be paid = $980USD

The above Total Fee ($980USD) should be paid through western union money transfer which will be faster using the information below:

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Immigration Department of Malaysia
Level 1-7 (Pondium) Block 2G4 Precint
Malaysia

$ Isn’t he smart. Money through Western Union. Quick way to transfer money. What did you think of Visa fee? I have never seen any country charging these kinds of fees. $

Kindly furnish us with the above information so that we can start up the processing of your Documents. We will get the Visa and Work Permit and other relevant documents for you within One week of receipt of the processing fee from you. We are enclosing our Visa application form for you to fill and return.

Looking forward to serving you better.

Best Regards,

Mr Razak Badawi
Head of Operations
Malaysian Immigration

$ Ya, that is not going to happen. $

# I did not reply for another couple of days. He sent me almost the same mail again. Even though he had sent me Visa application form, to piss him of, I sent him following e-mail. #

Dear Sir,
You did not attach Visa application form with last email and all this time I was waiting for you to send it. Kindly send the document so that we can expedite the process. I am concerned about the time constraint (20/8/10) and my worry is would I be able to finish the visa process before the desired date?
Regards
Anand

$ Trying to be genuine :) $

# He sent me an application form again. In the mean while I was keeping other guy busy by asking him lots of question on contract. Now I thought to bring some twist to the story. #

Anand Mishra to Caltex Malaysia
Date: Tue, Jul 20, 2012 at 8:18 AM

Dear Sir,
Following is the update on my visa process. I am in continuous conversation with Mr. Razak Badawi. For visa approval, processing fee of $980.00 USD is asked. Sir, I come from economically backward family and I will not be able to arrange the whole amount by myself. As days passes by I am also worried about the time constraint (20/8/10) before which I have to complete visa process. Sir, I have arranged $400.00 USD on my own and I still require another $580 USD for completing the process.

Sir, I believe all these expenses will be reimbursed within a week I join Caltex Malaysia. Along with that I will be given a month salary in advance as relocation amount. Sir is it possible to get $600.00 USD ahead and sent it to me, so that I can complete the visa process without delay. When I join the firm, it could be deducted from my reimbursement. I would be highly obliged if this help is provided to me. I have strong desire to work for Caltex and I do not want to miss the opportunity.

If it could not be arranged officially, I request you Sir, to kindly support me in this testing condition and I assure you to pay you back within a week of joining the firm. I would be highly obliged under your debt and will never forget your help in this testing condition.

If you give me kind consideration, my Western Union details are

Anand Mishra
14/A Bhoot Bangla, Pahadi Kuan
Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh
India

Eagerly waiting for some positive news.

Regards
Anand Mishra

$ At least I tried to get some money out of him. I knew exactly what his answer would be and it was as I had expected. $

Caltex Malaysia to Anand Mishra
Date: Tue, Jul 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Dear Anand Mohan Mishra‏,

I write to express my feelings to you. After going through your mail, I was deeply touched, more especially observing that you are a Muslim brother. INSHA ALLAH you will overcome the situation and join the leading team CALTEX.

$ What the hell. Religion card, well played bro. $

I want you to know that I have been helping you and I am ready to render more assistance to you but while doing that I should be mindful not to go against the five pillars of Islam because I am a Muslim who believes in the pillars.

$ What pillars he is talking about? $

However, because you are a Muslim brother, you have to send $480USD to Mr Razak Badawi while I will pay $500USD from my personal money on your behalf but you will refund me the money when you start work.

I will send the $500USD to Mr Razak Badawi of Malaysia immigration and also ask him to collection the balance of $480USD from you. You seem to be the first person that has really touched my heart to this extent.

I want you to evaluate the proposal and get back to me as quickly as possible. 

Regards,

Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali

$ How sweet of him. So, I was able to keep his interest in me. $

# After that, I thanked my Muslim bro. Both frauds conveyed to me that there was a “real money” transfer between them next day and ball was in my court now and Visa process will start as soon as I transfer rest of 480$. I was suggested to give matter adequate urgency. I kept silence for a couple of days. He again sent me a mail giving lesson on urgency. Actually I was busy with one of my projects at work, so could not reply him. Today I sent immigration guy another mail. #

Anand Mishra to Immigration
Date: Fri, Jul 23, 2012 at 7:28 AM

Dear Sir,
I am sorry for the delay in response. For last two days I was busy arranging money. I have asked bank to loan me money. Because of our huge population, usually queues are very long everywhere in India. It is very hot in India and lady behind me in the queue had a baby and it was crying all the time. I almost had to stand 4hrs in queue to reach the counter.  It was hard to convince the accountant to loan me money as I come from economically backward family. On top of that, you have to bribe accountant to get your loan sanctioned. Only after he saw my letter of employment and salary amount he agreed to sanction me loan. He has asked 15% of the loan upfront as bribe which I delivered him yesterday in the evening at his home. He has assured me that I will get money on next Tuesday.

Sir, I have two requests for you. First one is, as you have received 500$ USD from my HR Manager, is it possible to start visa process as it is getting late and I do not want to miss the beautiful opportunity to live in Malaysia. I will transfer you rest of the money on Wednesday through Western Union.

Second humble request is that, I did not know before today that you have to bribe the accountant to get your loan approved. It is a huge set back for me as they could only sanction 500$USD to me out of which I gave him 75$ USD as bribe. I will only effectively receive 425$ USD from bank. Being a Muslim brother, I request you to help me in this critical condition. INSHA ALLAH, Allah is watching us and he will repay you when you will go to heaven. Sir, if you could assist me by 80$USD which I will return within a week of joining, I will be highly obliged. I will never forget your help in this matter. I will transfer rest of the money on Wednesday.

I have filled the form but I am not able to find a scanner in my locality to scan it and return it back. Is it ok if I send you the soft copy of filled form?

Regards and waiting for your kind support.

Anand

$ I had fun writing this e-mail. $

# In his response he agreed to put 80$ from his pocket and wait for me to transfer rest 400$ to his account on coming Wednesday. And they say, there are no more nice people in the world. I had touched his heart again. #

Next Post
Chapter 4: What Future Holds
Future still holds a lot for our relationship. I have faint idea in mind how it is going to pan out, but we will see. Anybody wants to suggest something is welcome to comment.

Pay attention, Idiot! # Part 1 #

All instances are real and thread of mails presented in this series is unaltered (original).
Genre: Crime, Thriller, Drama, Comedy. Just kidding. It is just another post.

Chapter 1: Selection

During my holidays I received an e-mail from Employment Processing Manager at Caltex Malaysia, Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali, seeking my interest in their job openings. Benefits included following
1. Five Bedroom Flat Duplex
2. Free Medical & Travel Insurance
3.10 Days Leave / Vacation after Every 90 Working Days
4. Flight Fares (Air Tickets)
5. Free Education Scheme to Expatriates Children/Family
6. Free Toyota Camry 2010 Model.

Perks were so great that without any delay I started pursuing the selection process. They asked me to send my credentials to them. I replied back with my cover letter and resume. I wrote a few lines on how I was pretty much born to work in Malaysia and especially in their firm. They asked me to fill a questionnaire which I did. Kanchan only knows how much trouble I went through to fill that form. I was attending my brother’s marriage and deadline was on the same day. I was in village and so, I had to dictate answers to Kanchan over phone (cost me close to Rs 70) and then he sent it to Caltex. I had to share my Gmail password with him and he get to know a few of my dirty secrets. Don’t you Kanchan?

After few more formalities, the day my holiday ended in India, I received an employment offer from them, almost unbeatable on all grounds. Employment offer came with benefits mentioned above and 9,500$ USD (after tax) as monthly salary. I had to sign the attached employment offer and send it to HR at Caltex. Time frame to complete visa process was 20/8/12 and all the expenditure was to be reimbursed within a week of joining Caltex.  To make visa process easy for me, they had given me contact details of Head of Operations at Malaysian Immigration, Mr Razak Badawi.

You must be thinking where is the story?

Chapter 2: Something is Fishy here

I did well in BARC interview and then this offer; it was like dream come true. I reached Australia in high spirits. Just at the back of my mind, something was bothering me. The question was how did they get my details? Is it too good to be real? First question was kind of irrelevant as long as I had positive answer for 2nd one. I remembered registering with their career site once, so I was more focussed on 2nd question. After chat with my flatmate Arjun in Australia, we decided to look for truth.

Little bit of research suggested that everything is fake. Both Mr Razak Badawi and Dr. Mohammed Rahman Ali had e-mail address on free service provider @live.com. Usually big firms have there own e-mail account and for security reasons they do not use free service provider. So the trick was to delude candidates into getting visa and extract money as visa approval fee. I doubt that both were different person from the beginning.
I got fooled for a while, but when it comes to giving money to someone else, I an extra careful. It was time for revenge.

Next Post
Chapter 3: No one messes with ME!!

Next posts in this series will be thread of conversations between me and “My employer”. Story to abhi baaki hai mere dost.

For Her

This will be my last post for a long time, so I thought I should write something meaningful. This is for the light which made my world illuminated.

I asked her, “What do you see in me?” She said, “Everything”.

I liked her even before I had seen her. She is a child, a guide, a precious stone, a beautiful princess and someone who loved me unconditionally. She is innocent like a child and will complain about the whole world in the evening. Fir sure I know she does not like if queue would not move fast or airtel will send her a caller tune or someone who would not give seat to a old lady. She has a beautiful smile, expressive eyes, strong character and solid confidence. I like her because I want to see those eyes everyday, so innocent and so pure. Every expression feels like pure drops of dew on the grass blade. I like her because she could hear my gibberish intently for hours. I like her because she is imaginative.

When I met her first time, she was sorry. She had a flower basket in her one hand and ear in the other. She was sorry because she was late as she wanted to pick some flowers for me. All my frustration of wait vanished as soon as I saw her eyes. Her eyes were so expressive that I could tell she was really sorry. She has very beautiful eyes. You can see all her expressions through her eyes. Her eyes told me how happy she was to see me and how sad she was when I left her.

Someone ones told me never hurt a person who loves you, but the irony is we usually hurt then whom we love most. At the moment she is angry with me. She has all the right reasons to be angry. She may not come back but I will wait for her, as long as I can. All I have to do is keep hope.

P.S. I Love you

Blank Pages

A life is counted by moments, not by years.

Today was one of those days when I feel nothing, nothing at all, a total numbness. I feel so numb that I can hear silence in my head. These are the days when I question my existence. Each of these days is like a blank page in my diary, a page for which no one cares whether it is there or not. If I tear off all these blank pages from the dairy, I will be left with pages I have truly lived.

Today I want to feel pain, a shear pain which will wake me up from this numbness. No one feels more alive than a man out of breath swimming for shore. He knows he exists and he fights for it. Today I am not sure whether I will fight for my existence or not because I am unsure about my own existence.

Every week when I call my mother, she would ask me about what happened last week? Every time my answer would be “Nothing”. For a long time nothing has happened to my life. It is just stagnant. May be I am numb because I am stagnant.

What makes us feel alive? Why do you work – to live next day; what will you do tomorrow - work again to live next day. Are we living today just to live tomorrow? Is the whole point of living now come down to “just living” or “sustaining tomorrow”. When did we stopped living and started filling diaries with blank pages. I do not want to look back in 40 years and say all I did was survived last 40 years.

I am sorry, I am just too depressed.

Live free and die Hard

Nearly 4 years ago, I had serious health problem which almost cost me my life. My duress almost run for 6 months and when I was given clean chit from doctors I was so relieved that I felt reborn.

"Rahiman vipda ho bhali, jo thode din hoye,
hit, unhit ya jagat me , jaani parat sab koye."

You can not imagine how being in such a situation where you can see your death inching towards you, can give you a totally different prospective of life. Every thing changes; your priorities, what you want from your life and what makes you really happy, and 6 month was long time to rethink every thing.
When whole thing was over, I sat and said to my self, “This is my new life, and I will not mess it up again.” I kind of made my “Bucket List”. After almost 4 years of the incident when I review my bucket list I find nothing has changed. I am still living in the shadow of my old self and it feels like my new self is dying again.  All the gratitude and joy of getting my life back has died under the burden of social responsibilities and materialistic issues. I have everything to gain in this life and I should not let it go, after all everybody does not get second chance. Today I promise myself that now onwards I will live every moment as I want to.

Losers will Smile

I used to be skinny in my childhood. Worst part of being skinny is that you can not afford to pick up a fight as no one but you will be on the receiving end. So, even if somebody used to hit me, I would never respond back. My best way of taking revenge was to take the matter to the higher courts. Teachers used to praise me, because they used to think I am practicing Gandhigiri.
After my 10th board examination, I started gaining weight. I was very happy. When I realized I was skinny no more, I intentionally picked up a fight with the skinniest guy in my class. What happened is history but I came to two conclusions, never pick up a fight with a skinny cricketer when he has cricket bat in his hand and humiliation is more when you get beaten up by a skinny friend.

Recently I realized that I have started to grow again and I can feel it. My clothes are tight and I feel bigger. For past ten months, I am in Australia and I believe it has something to do with my growth. In a month I am going back to India and I can’t go like this. I have to stop growing, but question is how? So, I did little research on Google. I believe after some years all the laboratories in IITs will be closed and all the researches will be conducted on Google. Result suggested that it has something to do with my eating habits and not living an active lifestyle. What non sense, I have been eating well, chicken wings in the breakfast, fish and chips for lunch, chips in the evening and six rotis with sabji in the dinner. Going little out of context, in Australia they sell awesome candy bars. You get so many different kinds of candy bars that even daily I eat 5 or 6 different types of candy bars; still I have not tested all of them. When I talked to gym instructor at work about it, he asked me “Do you cook or you do take away?” I told him off course I cook (I am pretty sure he was talking about dinner, though he never mentioned it). He seemed surprised and told me that people generally put weight on when they mostly do take away.
With one reason out, it only leaves my “not so active” lifestyle as the reason. I did some more research on “Google” on what is active lifestyle. It suggested that 1,000 steps a day is considered as an active lifestyle. I bought a pedometer next day and tied it to my shoes in the morning. In the evening the count was 2,173, so I am leading an active lifestyle. While I was putting pedometer back in the case, I saw 10,000 steps written on the case. Thinking, it must be for athletes, I searched in Google again. What the fu**, last time I missed a zero at the end, 10,000 steps for active lifestyle and my count was 2,173 only.

I still believe that I am not overweight; I am just “Healthy”. I need to tone down a bit so that I am considered healthy and not “Healthy”. From tomorrow onwards, I will do exercise, eat less, inhibit my temptation for chocolates and in the end will emerge as a “Loser”. Today is the last day of uninhibited quest, so let me test 10 chocolates today.

Bits & Pieces

It is freaking winter.

Do not think I am nuts. It is freaking cold here. Winter is at its peak. In my defense, I am in Australia. 

Today morning Andrew asked me what I was smiling about? I replied to him that I wasn't smiling. That was the expression from last night which had frozen in the freaking cold.

1 week to go.

I am going back to India for a month on holidays. I couldn't have picked up worse time. I have heard it is pretty hot in India. All the time I spent hiding from the Sun to become fair, will be tanned back to original in a week.
Still, I am looking forward to the trip for two reasons. One, my elder brother is getting married, and second, I will get to eat lots of mangoes. I missed mangoes in Australia. You do not get variety and quality over here.

सौ चूहे खा कर बिल्ली चली हज को.

कभी "अपने पाँव पर कुल्हाड़ी मरना" मुहावरे का इससे बढ़िया प्रयोग मैंने नहीं देखा. जोश में आकर मैंने BARC का form दो महीने पहले भर दिया. मैंने तो बस यूँ ही application डाल दी थी. तब से बस घर वाले पीछे ही पड़ गए की तैयारी कैसी चल रही है. Exam अगले Sunday है. पिछले चार दिन से पढाई शुरू की है. ४ साल का course अगले ४ दिनों में निबटाना है. कहते हैं ना कि पिछले जनम का पाप २ दिन में थोड़े ही धुलता है. ऐसे धुलाई जरी है. बस आपके सहयोग की आवश्यकता है. जम कर शुभाशीष दीजिये. पास कर गया तो एक-एक के घर मिठाई भेजूँगा, वर्ना आशीष आपने मन से नहीं दिया या फिर आपके आशीष में दम नहीं है, मान कर संतोष कर लूँगा.

See you all in India in a week time.

Mount Kosciuszko – a trip to the highest mountain in Australia

 Dedicated to Mr. X

Disclaimer:  Well things might seem funny now, but weren’t funny at that time :). Even though Mr. X is real, but we can not reveal his identity due to confidentiality agreement. See Abhishek, I had told you I will never reveal your identity if you do not want to.

It rarely happens that weekend is longer than weekdays (a wise old man said last time it happened when Australia won The Ashes) and 5 day Easter break was perfect time for me to come out of my shell. So, four exIITians Mr. X, Lokesh, Bhassi and I decided to camp on the highest mountain in Australia, Mount Kosciuszko. In nutshell, we completed demanding 27 Km walk on medium to hard terrain, in minus zero condition, 20+ Kg on our back and camped one night on Mount Kosciuszko. While pain still has to recede, hopefully story will go on.

Our journey started from Great Victoria. In Victoria everything is “Great”; river, roads, swamps, forests and even their dry creeks. After 9 hour long drive, we arrived at Jindabyne (the base camp for Mount Kosciuszko) at 3A.M. in the middle of the night. Apparently expected time to reach there was 11P.M., so we weren’t too late, only trouble was everything was closed and temperature was around zero. So we decided to sleep in the car itself. We closed all the windows and slipped in our sleeping bags. Within few minutes of good night exchange I realized a couple of things (1) Bhassi is oxygen munching monster. He was consuming more than 75% of our oxygen (limited amount available in the car). He was taking really long inhales in such quick succession that it almost felt like Kapal Bhathi except he was inhaling instead of exhaling. I was afraid that I will die due to lack of oxygen, so we made gap in our windows for oxygen inflow. (2) Mr. X snores at a pitch which you can clearly hear even in Metallica concerts, and I will tell you one thing, I couldn’t sleep in Metallica concert. So Lokesh and I were awake for the whole night watching him sleep like a child. At least someone slept well that night :(.

Enjoying tranquility at Jindabyne lake after full night of snoring from Mr. X

In the morning we all went to see Jindabyne Lake. View was quite scenic and atmosphere was quite quiet. We had light breakfast and we did final checking of our backpacks. Before I could close my rucksack, I heard Mr. X shouting, apparently something was missing. He had brought 8 liters of water for 1.5 day tracking (:O) out of which 1 liter was missing.  After little convincing he settled for 7 liters but made it clear that he is not going to share his water in any case. I realized, everyone has to look after themselves. I only had 2 liters of water on me and I had no doubt in my mind that I might have to kill Mr. X before I can get a sip out of his lot.

Snowy River, well that is what river looks like in Australia

We started tracking around 10A.M. Within few minutes we all realized it is going to quite demanding. First came Snowy River, then a series of peaks and saddle. Once you know the difference, you will never confuse a river with creek. Creeks are creeks while river is a creek with bucket of water flowing through it.

 Weather was perfect for tracking, but at the end of the day we were dog tired. We set up our tent in the dark under torch light. Finally we had shelter from freezing outside and this was time to discuss the day. Facts were, rucksacks were very heavy due to consumable goods (water, bread, jam etc) and so far no one had drank more than 100 ml of water. There were few laughs about 8 liter of water. At dinner time everybody was keen to share their share of water and food so that they can loose some weight, but no one showed interest in others stock. We ate and drink as much as we can so that next day we had to carry less, well that is how I got my name, Museli Mishra :). After few rounds of card games we all went for bed. Even before we finished good night exchange, we knew Mr. X was asleep as we could hear loud snores coming out of his sleeping bag. We all knew we were up for another big night. Bhassi, Lokesh and I had light conversation for another half an hour around snoring and few laughs at Mr. X’s misfired snores. We all managed to get some rest.
Second day track was much easier due to sloping terrain and our lighter backpack (due to last nights overeating).
All together it was quite fun and enjoyable experience. We had laughs and that is all that counts.

P.S: Bits of story are exaggerated. All in good faith.
Abhishek: Thanks for driving us safely in long stretch.
Bhassi: Thanks for packed lunch.
Lokesh: Thanks for carrying the heaviest rucksack :P

Bihar Flood Work # Final Part

One thing that impressed me most during the flood period was the selfless volunteer work localities were doing to help flood victims. For initial 10 days when Government and NGO support was still far away, flood victims only survived because local residents came forward to help them in every way possible. Relief work started the same day water breached its boundary, the same day when every empty space in our island town was getting filled and it was spontaneous. Help came in mere form of asking victims their story, local women reaching camps with cooked food and feeding one or two families at a time, simple act of drawing electric lines to these camps from their home so that victims do not loose their sight in those dark days, medical representatives visiting camps until proper medical facility was established or donating generously towards relief. They helped because they felt it was right thing to do and they knew with little extra water it could have been their fate too. Do not think negative of me but in the world where I see people using others as stepping stone and cranking up iPod sound on beggars plea, it was too beautiful to see abundance of humanity.

Evening of 1st Day:
Our group was pumped up after 1st day of work. All the support of community and satisfaction of doing something worth doing was encouraging us to continue further (we worked almost for 40 days). In the evening meeting we decided our work will be more inclined towards infants.
That night my mother asked me how was my day and in reply I smiled but she sensed worry in that. She asked why I was worried and I told her that, there were lots of things to do and I do not know how we were going to do it. Fund was scarce too. She told me that I can not help everyone and I can do only my part. I should not worry too much and take one day at a time. And I repeated her in my mind, one day at a time.

2nd Day:
Aid was scarce so we could not afford to loose the opportunity of collecting 3 boxes of biscuits. I had made clear to the group that any kind of help should be appreciated and this was the time to set example. House of food inspector was 10 Km away. Early morning I and 2 other guys from the group rode to his house to collect the boxes. He was little surprised and impressed to see our promptness and enthusiasm. He gave us 4 boxes instead and carried one box on his bike. That is how we found our 9th member :).
That was not all surprise that morning, when we came back with 4 boxes of biscuits, 3 new friends were waiting to join our group. And so list kept on increasing till day 4 when we had our final 16th member. That day some of us went for collecting aids again in the colony while some of us started distributing biscuits and milk (made from milk powder) among children in the camps.

Our financial worries were over once I contacted Gour to arrange help from IIT. Gour and his colleagues did an excellent work in collecting funds and sending it to us as required. I am extremely grateful to IIT community for their trust and generous contribution. After publication in BBC some people from other countries also approached me for aid but I channeled them to aid me through IIT. Thank you all for contributing.   

A general Aastha day:
Someone in the group suggested we should give our group a name and so we became “Aastha”. A general Aastha day would start early 6:30 AM in the morning. Everybody knew what they were supposed to do. Some would go for marketing, some would go for collection of aid and rest of us will go to the camps distributing aids. We started with one camp but later with growing strength we started covering 5 nearby camps. Apart from biscuits and milk, we started distributing chuda - gud, medicines, tooth paste, plastic sheets, mosquito coil, candles and later on soaps. We would talk to local doctors to come and visit camps. Doctors would give us bleaching powder to spread in the habitat area to keep it healthy. Apart from IIT, we would contact other NGO to come and help us at the camp.

Government and NGO help started around 10th day. After that it was a lot easier for volunteers like us as they did very good job. You could see “Roaming medical vehicle” from Gujarat everywhere. NGO and Government managed camps everywhere. Military personnel rescued people from interior regions.  Later we would also deep in the flooded regions with our help on military boats. It was scary and satisfying at the same time. Guys from IIT also came during their vacation and did a very good job in deep interiors of flooded region.

A day would end with evening meeting around 8 PM. We would review our progress and decide what to do next. After hard days work, we would share some laughter and develop friendship which still connects us.

I had to stop as I had to join Rio Tinto. But in the end I was satisfied like a donkey in the grass field and tanned like umbrella in Rihana’s music video.

The feeling of helping others is a bliss in its own league. For me it turned out to be more than satisfaction of helping others. I made new friends, whom I had seen many time walking on colony streets but never bothered to talk. I was mere one among thousands who helped voluntarily and did not care for name or praise. Each one of them deserves the same praise and recognition I got. I have to thank many as without their help I could not have done even a small fraction of what I managed to do. Thank you all: my Aastha members, everyone who helped in generating fund at IIT, everyone who helped us with aids, everyone who encouraged us and Praveen's mother who will make us tea everyday in the evening.

It is our society and everybody needs to chip in. Humanity does not need to rise only at the brink of devastation; it should be more common than it is.

Bihar Flood Work # Part 1

Sometimes it falls upon a generation to be great. You can be that great generation. - Nelson Mandela

It was summer of 2008 and I was waiting for my visa approval after graduation. If you can remember, that year it rained heavily in north India and Kosi barrage failed to save life of many thousand and all together nearly 2.3 million people became homeless. Worst affected districts in Bihar were Supaul, Araria, Saharsa, Madhepura and Purnea. Everything submerged in water, people were left with no option but to leave everything behind and save themselves and walk a road to nowhere. The water which only took 3 days to fill these districts, later took nearly 6 months to recede and for those 6 months, fortunate ones who were able to save their life had no shelter and no food.

I was in Saharsa (my hometown) at that time and all of it was happening in front of me. Saharsa district was fully submerged except few patches of lands and Saharsa town was luckily one of those islands.  We did not need to see television for what was happening, it was happening right in front of us. Thousand of people from submerged areas very quickly populated every bit of available space in the town. Every school, railway station, parks, hospitals and roadside was occupied with people who had either lost their family of property to the flood.

It was second day of the flood and NGOs & Government help was still far away. The plight of flood victims were unthinkable, they did not have anything to sleep on or anything to eat as most of them were empty handed. In the late evening I was waking with my friend Praveen in one of these parks, and we could only hear were cries of babies and tears running down the cheeks of those who understood how bad their luck was. I went back home and told my mother tomorrow I want to go door to door in the colony and collect whatever I can to help the people living in nearby park. My father was skeptical that people would help me in my cause but my mother was more than encouraging but warned me not to stress too much as I was still recovering from my appendix operation. Next day I called Praveen, who arrived with few bags and that’s how it all started.

First Day:
I asked my mother to be the first one to donate. She gave me nearly 2 kg of rice, half kg of daal and made my father donate Rs 100. I and Praveen went to every door in our colony and requested to donate anything from old clothes to money. I was surprised and overwhelmed with the kindness people were showing. We collected everything old clothes, bora, plastic sheets, grains, cooked food, money, medicines, candles and even mosquito coils. In the mean time some of Praveen’s friend also joined the cause and now we were almost group of 6 people. Few people started cooking whatever we had collected. Two of us started distributing plastic sheets and bora for families with small kids so that they do not have to sleep on the floor. We collected nearly Rs 2000 and we were not sure what to do with the money. There were lots of things to do and so we wanted to spend it wisely. While serving food a lady came to me in tears and asked me that could we arrange some milk for her 6 months old daughter as she can not eat the food? I abruptly asked her why can not she give mothers milk to baby. She started crying and told me that she can not produce milk. I was feeling so humiliated and ashamed of my question. I asked Praveen if can arrange some milk for her daughter.
Few people from colony came by to encourage us. Few told us to come next day to collect some more items. Some just came by to talk to people. One of them was food inspector and he was really impressed with us. He told us he can give us 3 big biscuit cartoon box only if we can collect.
That evening all six of us sat together and decided we need to do something for baby food. Adults could go to Government stall (total 4 at that time in the city) and eat khichdi but nobody was thinking about infants at that time. We needed lots of milk powder and biscuits. We knew it was not going to be one day job.

I would write second part very soon. A lot happened in coming days and I have to thank a lot of people for their support.
Anand

Cleared BARC

Today I saw the result and luckily, I have cleared the interview stage too.

This summer # Launceston to Kolkata

Guess, what I was doing when I was not surfing? I had lots of expectations from my last trip to India. It was an eventful summer.

Early morning my journey started from Launceston. Plan was to fly to Melbourne and then to India via Singapore. I always feel comfortable as long as I can feel solid ground below my feet, or in other words, I am a little afraid of flying. Even when I am up in the air, I feel more comfortable when plane is flying over ground than when it flies over water bodies. I know it does not make any difference at that height, but still I can not help it.

There are few things I like about airports. You get to see people from different country, tourists squeezed between heavy backpacks, rave of emotions at arrival & departure and off course free internet to pass time. Few things will always elude my comprehension though. I never understood what pleasure do people get in pushing 7 Kg trolley, for carrying their 0.8 kg laptop? Why people rush to toilet immediately after pilot switches off seat belt sign? Why even sophisticated people would grin to air hostess to get another sachet of cheap peanuts? But hey, who am I to judge?

Usually I love to listen to my iPod to pass time, but this time I had to study Thermodynamics for BARC examination. After 11 long hours of study, flight finally reached Kolkata. It was almost midnight and I was feeling tired. At immigration, officer asked me that why I have not written Quarter no. in my address. I felt a strong urge to ask him that “Is he going to send me Christmas card?” But, instead I quietly wrote my Quarter no. Mother, Neelu Didi and Jeeja Ji were waiting at arrival to receive me. After that, whole night we kept talking about Australia and India.

Susheel, Neelu didi’s son is live wire in the family. Mama (uncle) do this, mama do that, mama come and play with me or in nutshell I had a year exercise in three days. Once, Neelu didi asked him to check whether I was awake or slept. He came to me, sprinkled cold water on my face to wake me up and then said back to his mother that mama is awake now. My mother told him not to disturb me in revising the notes. He said to her that he only wants to study with me and after that you can guess what would have happened. None of us studied.

After BARC examination, we (I, mother, Neelu didi, Jija Ji and Susheel) went to Dkchineshwar Kali temple on Ganga shore and for a drive around town (Victoria memorial, Science city etc.). I am very thankful to Neelu Didi’s family for great hospitality and lovely tour of the city.

One good thing about returning to India after a gap is you can instantly realize things are changing rapidly in India. Two changes which stand out of the rest are visual development in Bihar and increased fashion awareness. One thing which really struck me was sunglasses; it is becoming new fashion among youngsters. Now we are one step away from becoming perfect Gandhi’s monkey (sunglasses for eyes and iPod for ears).  With big burger from McDonald in our mouth, we will be just perfect. Shopping Malls and supermarket are becoming new trend in urban society. Mall is a good place to hang out for love birds and see things which one could have bought if they had that kind of money. I always feel like outsider when I am in a mall. When I see elderly women walking in t-shirts, feeling uncomfortable, and just trying to keep up with the new trend or people digging their way through pile of clothes for finding cheap ones, makes me think are we trying too hard to be acceptable in modern society or society has lost its tenacity to accept people for who they are? I will give you an example. I still use my Nokia 1100 mobile. So many have commented that I should upgrade and it does not suit me. As long as it does the job, I am not going to throw it away just because someone thinks it is outdated. Mobile started to become popular almost 6 years ago and since then so many models have become outdated. In the beginning it was necessity but now it is more of status symbol of how modern you are.

Kolkata is among four largest cities in India and has an international airport but city did not turn out as I had expected. City was congested, dirty and unmaintained just like its international airport. Condition of famous “City Tram” was nothing like in the stories I had heard from my mother about her visit to city in her childhood. Staying with Neelu didi confirmed my fear, why I do not want to work in big cities. They hardly interacted with their neighbors. Neelu didi used to take Shusheel to City Park every Sunday so that he can play freely. For rest he the week he has no place to be himself. He is like a dolphin in a bath tub. I want to live in a place where in the evening I can put couple of chairs in front lawn and see kids playing on the street while talking to my neighbors.

May be I am outdated and unable keep up with the modern changing society OR may be I want to hang on things which makes me happy and defines me.

Update

I am having fantastic time in India. This vacation has been eventful; BARC examination, two day tour of Kolkata, a week trip to IIT Kanpur and brothers marriage. I danced all night (most of it was just unorganized jumping) and ate 20 mangoes (in a go) as breakfast in brother’s marriage. Next day my stomach was dysfunctional like  any Chinese electrical equipment after a month use. I have lots of stories to share, but sometime later.
Just for information: I have successfully qualified written examination of BARC and interview is scheduled on 6th of July. I hope with everybody’s grace, it will also go fine. See you guys later. Thanks to everyone for good wishes.

It is a Loooong Wait

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein

Dear reader, kindly bear in mind that, this post may have mild sexual reference. If you are a pervert, I am sorry to disappoint you because this is not an erotic story either. For links to erotic stories, message me or Pratap (name has not been changed to reveal the true identity) privately [:)].

My brother is getting married in June. He couldn’t be happier, and why he shouldn’t be? Two months from now, he wouldn’t have to worry even if a Gabbar Singh asks for his both hands.

I am happy too, not solely for him, after all him gone from the queue, people will now focus on me. Even though, last couple of years, openly I pretend to be indifferent towards my marriage talks, but secretly I have been eavesdropping and poking around for the facts. I think it has its own share of fun. Any new proposal makes my heart beat faster and I think “This Is IT” while every failed one makes my wait eternal.

It is not that I am afraid of doing my work on my own, but it would be nice for change. My hands are tired; colour of my palm is rubbed out; palm readers are having difficulty locating lines and worst of all I am running out of imagination. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has rubbed even an ordinary lamp so many times, it would have produced a Jeannie.

I have been dropping hints for last three years, but my insensitive parents did not take any notice. To make it easier for them, I have been using cliche like; I have been feeling lonely lately, mummy needs to relax, my all friends are getting married and even spoke in favor of child marriage, but why parents who fulfill all the desires of their children fail to realize such obvious need. Parents still thinks that we will shy on the topic like 10 year old kid. I will do favor to my son and will marry him when he will be 15, he will be in-debt for life.  See below G-Talk conversation between me and my friend.

Friend: Arrey abhi maze daar kissa hua hamare ghar mein. Hamare liye rishta aaya.
Anand: Sahi.
Friend: To hamare pitaji hamein bata rahe they. To hamne poocha " papa aapne kya bola"
Anand: Hmm.
Friend: Papa bole "Bete se pooch kar batayenge."
Anand: To tumne kya bola ?
Friend: To hamne kaha "Papa, photo to mangwa hi lijiye."
Anand: :)
Friend: Usper hamare pitaji itne barse, unhe ummed thi ki hum sharma kar bolenge.
Anand: To poocha hi kyon :)
Friend: Masti aa gayi.
Anand: :). Bhai ab kuch kar ke dikho ki pitaji ko bhi lage ki tum jimmedari sambhal sakte ho. Doosra upay hai ki bolo ki mummy ghar par kaam karti hai mujhse dekha nahi jata.
Friend: :). Ya phir bolo "pitaji ab mummy bhoodi ho gayi hain, unhen arram ki aawashyakta hai."
Anand: Aisa pelenge pitaji aur bacha kasar mummy ne sun liya to nikal dengi. Kuch ke parents to graduate hote hi haath dho kar peeche pad gaye ki kar hi lo par hamare ghar wale hi itne insensitive nikle. Unko bhi bachhe ka kasht samajhna chahiye.
Friend: Yaar yeh man baap bachche ki har zaroorat ka khayal rakhte hain. Keval is mamle mein sub maat kha jaate hain.
Anand: :)
Friend: Mein apne bachchon ka to bal vivah karva doonga. Zindagi bhar mera ehsaan mangenge.
Anand: Sahi hai. :)

Life is nothing like movies, where you go to neighbor for a cup of milk and fun starts.  I haven’t found a kinky air hostess during flight like movies either. I do not have kids, so I am not sure about baby sitters though. My point is, when we have to settle for regular fun, what is point in delaying it?

One of my friends told me that post makes me look desperate, so what, this post is for all despo bros.